Sunday, March 16, 2008

Fear Not

And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Matt.10:28.The Big Picture is:

Our Lord warned his disciples to prepare for persecution. They were to avoid all things which gave advantage to their enemies, all meddling with worldly or political concerns, all appearance of evil or selfishness, and all underhand measures. Christ foretold troubles, not only that the troubles might not be a surprise, but that they might confirm their faith. He tells them what they should suffer, and from whom. Thus Christ has dealt fairly and faithfully with us, in telling us the

worst we can meet with in his service; and he would have us deal so with ourselves, in sitting down and counting the cost. Persecutors are worse than beasts, in that they prey upon those of their own kind. The strongest bonds of love and duty, have often been broken through from enmity against Christ. Sufferings from friends and relations are very grievous; nothing cuts more. It appears plainly, that all who will live godly in Christ Jesus must suffer persecution; and we must expect to enter

into the kingdom of God through many tribulations. With these predictions of trouble, are counsels and comforts for a time of trial. The disciples of Christ are hated and persecuted as serpents, and their ruin is sought, and they need the serpent's wisdom. Be ye harmless as doves. Not only, do nobody any hurt, but bear nobody any ill-will. Prudent care there must be, but not an anxious, perplexing thought; let this care be cast upon God. The disciples of Christ must think more how to do well,

than how to speak well. In case of great peril, the disciples of Christ may go out of the way of danger, though they must not go out of the way of duty. No sinful, unlawful means may be used to escape; for then it is not a door of God's opening. The fear of man brings a snare, a perplexing snare, that disturbs our peace; an entangling snare, by which we are drawn into sin; and, therefore, it must be striven and prayed against. Tribulation, distress, and persecution cannot take away God's love

to them, or theirs to him. Fear Him, who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. They must deliver their message publicly, for all are deeply concerned in the doctrine of the gospel. The whole counsel of God must be made known, Ac 20:27. Christ shows them why they should be of good cheer. Their sufferings witnessed against those who oppose his gospel. When God calls us to speak for him, we may depend on him to teach us what to say. A believing

prospect of the end of our troubles, will be of great use to support us under them. They may be borne to the end, because the sufferers shall be borne up under them. The strength shall be according to the day. And it is great encouragement to those who are doing Christ's work, that it is a work which shall certainly be done. See how the care of Providence extends to all creatures, even to the sparrows. This should silence all the fears of God's people; Ye are of more value than many sparrows.

And the very hairs of your head are all numbered. This denotes the account God takes and keeps of his people. It is our duty, not only to believe in Christ, but to profess that faith, in suffering for him, when we are called to it, as well as in serving him. That denial of Christ only is here meant which is persisted in, and that confession only can have the blessed recompence here promised, which is the real and constant language of faith and love. Religion is worth every thing; all who

believe the truth of it, will come up to the price, and make every thing else yield to it. Christ will lead us through sufferings, to glory with him. Those are best prepared for the life to come, that sit most loose to this present life. Though the kindness done to Christ's disciples be ever so small, yet if there be occasion for it, and ability to do no more, it shall be accepted. Christ does not say that they deserve a reward; for we cannot merit any thing from the hand of God; but they shall

receive a reward from the free gift of God. Let us boldly confess Christ, and show love to him in all things.



I can't but think of a person as a very young child back in the 1960 when we were in grade school we then could pray in the elementary grade school during any time of the day our teachers could teach us some of the old history about parts of our bibles for us to learn back then in at that time, along side having prayer which could lead us to such a better life that we could lead and trust in daily. Of course we was living in such a small community in a farm town living back then. Then one day they had said they could No longer teach it to us because of the new law that was brought on by "Madalyn Murry O' Hair" and the "Supreme Court ruling against it since she was an Atheist" Years later this woman whom came against people of God was found dismembered bodies along with family members and with one of their killers too[1995-2007]. I just can't fathom how their end result might have been at that last moment in time for all of them it's just not thinkable for me to be honest with each of you I'd rather not go there. I can only remember our scriptures in the word of God when it speaks about that kind of a judgement that handed down by God as He ruless in everyone's life t those moments. and you can read it for one self [Psalms 109:6-20]. Just remember the following verses that goes with these scriptures for us to take hold of in our life that all of those whom wants us destoryed by those whom accuse Gods children for our strong belief in Jesus Christ with sounding faith as we stand upon Him while going through our trials and tribulations during these last days.

The Lord Jesus may speak here as a Judge, denouncing sentence on some of his enemies, to warn others. When men reject the salvation of Christ, even their prayers are numbered among their sins. See what hurries some to shameful deaths, and brings the families and estates of others to ruin; makes them and theirs despicable and hateful, and brings poverty, shame, and misery upon their posterity: it is sin, that mischievous, destructive thing. And what will be the effect of the sentence,

to �Go, ye cursed, to � upon the bodies and souls of the wicked! How it will affect the senses of the body, and the powers of the soul, with pain, anguish, horror, and despair! Think on these things, sinners, tremble and repent (Ps 109:21-31).It just takes great humility for us to fully entrust our lives unto God. One of the difficulties we have as His children is for all of to admit just how helpless we all are on a daily basisin overcoming every single defects of our own each character we have inside of one self that one day it finally shows us ho much it's become of all of that of which we are truly dependent we've become on all material,pride, ego,wealth, possessions, by lying cheating, stealing from whatever means it came from in one's own life. By overcoming it in it's own wake of one's own dependency which are highly powerful to any given person we see though different eyes just what had taken place in having it all by our own way and means in getting them. and how a person is truly enslaved to one's own desires and very strong appetites. Dependence on God and all that has for us is the only road to finding true freedom. Even those God is calling us to be child-like in our spirits but it truly don't mean to have such child-like behaviors in and around our life. That kind of living is what bring us to death sentences that we don't want in one's own end at that time when facing Jesus Christ at that time of one's own judgement. Looking at another passage of our scripture we see 2 Cor.2:11 Least Satan should get an advanage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.

As We are God Children, such as as those apostles in Jesus Christ desires them to receive the person who had done wrong, again into their communion; for he was aware of his fault, and much afflicted under his punishment. Even sorrow for sin should not unfit for other duties, and drive to despair. Not only was there danger last Satan should get advantage, by tempting the penitent to hard thoughts of God and religion, and so drive him to despair; but against the churches and the ministers of Christ, by bringing an evil report upon

Christians as unforgiving; thus making divisions, and hindering the success of the ministry. In this, as in other things, wisdom is to be used, that the ministry may not be blamed for indulging sin on the one hand, or for too great severity towards sinners on the other hand. Satan has many plans to deceive, and knows how to make a bad use of our mistakes (2Co 2:12-17). For God whom ceated every single person in this world and all of the creatures. For He created the world to function according to His plans. God created all of us to function best with Him alway's- to live joyfully and healthy lives - when we do it His way. When we folow our own path, we suffer and hve all of those very painful consequences. If, we follow Him and seek to live accordingly to Him (God's ) plans that he's laid out for us in the Bible, we will discover the way to live in peace and harmony with Jesus Christ then living in harmony with God and other people and the world we all live in today that bring us Home to have it all in eternity (Psalms 104:1-26). So just as with the scripture that I started with that whom is living in Satan's world will die by Him and those whom live for Jesus Christ will live that Eternal living which last forever and ever. For those whom purified themselves are greatly stirred-up and are very active lively in the work of His holiness. Those whom scoffer in the last days that claim to be under the Gospel whom does make light of all sins and truly mock at salvation by Jesus Christ. For when Jesus Christ comes for they have No belief in Him in His coming only because they will see No changes, therefore they fear not God (Ps.55:19). For us whom are christians be very zealous and unwearied in the way of Heaven. To coninually be in the Word of God in prayer watching and waiting on Jeus Christ coming for all whom belong to Him on that day. I _amgodschild. I GoodSearch for [your cause].

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Jesus Christ Sees All !!!

Jesus Christ Sees All !!!
Are You in His book Of Life & Death ?

Welcome Home To I_amgodschildcc Place

This is a very warm Welcome To each of You whom came unto this place, i_am godschild cc Home I am glad that you decided to join. I am sure you will find many blessings with us as I am sure you will be a blessing to our family. i_amgodschildcc Home is a Special Room for us to come to for PRAISE and WORSHIP to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, praying for each other, praying for all prayer requests that are shared with us, share testimonies, Bible studies, Christian devotionals, poems, songs and Christian inspirational sites. We are a group of believers dedicated to lifting in prayer the needs that are shared with us, sustain our brethen, Praise the Lord, spread the Wordof God and to reach out to lost and unsaved souls.OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE HAS NO PLACE IN THIS CHRIST CENTERED HOME!!! Because many people has grown up in hearing and /or using offensive language, this is very painful to ALL of us in this home it will NOT be tolerated at ALL!!! If someone post those types of Offensive lanuage you will be deleated Immediately DISMISSED otherwise Banned from this Home of the Lord Jesus Christ it will NOT be tolerated at ALL!!!! There is NO asking for Donations or Money of to Send Money of any kind in Advertising your work. If the Lord wants someone to send money to a person, He will place it upon the heart of someone to do so. It would be appreciated if All people whom come to this site that if You whom come to post here that You would refrain from Gossip or Critizing people here in this home of Jesus Christ for we do Not do any kind of disagreements, nor we Debate it anything in this Home at All!! It will Not, for the Lord say's in His Sword of His Own Word in this manner for all of Us to follow and adhere to: "You brood of snakes ! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. A good person produces good words from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart. And I tell You this, that YOU Must give an account on Judgement day of every idle word You speak The Words You say now reflects Your fate then; either You will be justified by them or You will be condemned...[Matt.12:34-36N.L.T.] Feel free to post on the message board as the Holy Spirit leads you. Please share your prayers and be in agreement with other prayers that are shared with us. Let's just lift Holy hands and Praise the Lord today!!

14 Oh, how generous and gracious our Lord was! He filled me with the faith and love that come from Christ Jesus.

15 This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. 16 But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. 17 All honor and glory to God forever and ever! He is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; he alone is God. Amen.

1 Timothy 1:14-17 (New Living Translation)

My Prayer for You in each one of you as an individual person and family and friends as well as aquaintances this journey we call life is for All of You!

10 Love each other with genuine affection,[a] and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.[b] 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Romans 12:10-13 (New Living Translation)



My Testimony

Hello Everyone; I thought that I would give this testimony of how things had taken place in my very own life. Some of things has been left out of it. Some of these things You could read between the Lines and to know it in your own heart just as if You had been there taking it all in as one would often time do in these simliar things hurts, habits, and all of those hang - ups as a next person that had gone through it as well themselves.I had often times felt that I had already gone onto as people often times say to whom ever living as if we had already have been in world world 3. I'm only saying this because of me growing as a very small baby I had a Foster Mother in whom I loved so very much for such as I was literally told by her momma from an infant that she wasn't my true Mother that I had a real mother with many siblings living with her and I'd had better get used to it in my life and as in some people very much they had done all the things that any ones own parent could do for them from infancy until almost an adolecent. From the time that I was an only child never did I realize what those truths were until my parents had told Me that I am a foster child that they loved so dearly but they didn't like the way that My real Mother was rasing me and she had kept Me to raised in her undivided "Love" beside being raised where she had loving manner with shown Me just where Her Accountability mattered in her home. Now in my "Real Mother's " home it was so much of a vast differences in her home, and having bad motives and none action that wasn't alot of "Inconsistencies" had gotton Me to where violence and wreckless parents within the family unit and couldn't be myself in that inviroment that for sure was very unstable for my own personal growth. I had thought that those was my parent until one day some cold hard fact and truths came creaping out of my momma. She was stern and I knew what she meant and what she said was gospel.But she loved me just the same for being my foster momma to me. I watched her go through so many trials and heartache in her life and she cried and had been hurt by a husband whom had left us to be with another woman and her already made family. My momma did all those things that a parent could and wanted to do as a mother. She worked and I went to school like any other young child. Of course I acted up badly when I had lived with my precious momma, but I was sort of a mean kid whom had done alot of things that I ought not and should not have done. But the one or perhaps many things about her just made me feel like it was always home to me even til the day she passed away. (Years earlier). She loved me and showed me how to do things in a home, like most momma's do she gave me spankings but it wasn't nothing like my real mother would do. They were so very different as day is to night. My thoughts just never left my momma. You know being with the very brutal side of my real parent will never be forgotton because in the home it was world war 3. It was horrible that at times It just speaks to all of those horable things that had happened to me while living in that place of such high frequencies of motives and in - actions that only a person like me had gone through in a persons own life, of the horrors that went in that place. I later in years found out the real reasons all of those mean actions of the way she was to me and ways she had done alot of things which makes a person like I was so bitterly confused, beaten, raped, and almost killed not only by my real mother but her husband too. I'll never forget what it done to my own soul is like living in hell with fire torching me all of the time, day and night was never a miss.Bu they cursed at me telling me that I was No good and I wasn't going to amount to anything and more cursing came at me like it rolled like a thunder storm in every breath they had taken and couldn't even ask why,I couldn't share my thoughts with them because sure enough I would get it again. They had their parties that lasted into the wee hours in the mornings every weekend with things in the home got broken simly because it would be broken up , fighting, cursing at each other, the windows of the car got broken by a brick being thrown from mother's hand because of those things he had done to her. I knew that I was in hot water again, just because she would run off from being mad at him. I hated those times because I knew what I was in for every time that would happen. Some of my own family member was just like him and did those simliar thing to me.Only 2 of my siblings made so many efforts for me to live with them but to No avil. Everytime I'd get something nice for those holidays it would get ripped into pieces while the other kids got to keep what they had. After a while I really didn't care about anything anymore! They taught me to be just like them and I lost myself ! I just didn't know me anymore.Her hubby used to call me out to his garage filled his brown "Dr. Peppers" glass with his favorite pop as I watched him pour his drink mixed with alcohol, i'm not going to say anything more about that horrible person in that kind of manner. A few of his own family members was just the same. Some of them as well did thing's in like manner for they are sibling that was older than I . I got so tired of those things and after awhile I was like being under a very heavy doeses of anesthesia that I never came out of from being in that place. Everything I had been taught was lost to never return in such a very ugly inside of myself had been ripped apart destroying anything of which I had known about me was gone and I ws No longer there! I left that place and right out in the streets and never looked back at that place again for many of years.I was someone like in Germany that has shared with me simliar virtures that had taken on in my own life from the very start of my street worth had been like in what my husband has shared with me about those brothels that's lined up for many a blocks. It's all I knew how to do and run with the seedy people whom was just like me and thugs,mobsters, thieves. I got caught up with people that most people didn't want to cross over if they wanted to stay alive for the most part, or if they owed a favor yet in turn it wasn't good either.Well drugs, alcohol, kept me up and down for most of those years. I had so many problems that it never gave me a clue. Emotions was high going from one place to another even with scooter people whom I'd hung out at all of those places. For the most part they helped me along my years, then I'd back away and find me another crowd to hang out with, it didn't matter how rich you might of been at the end of those nights I was a shallow of a person whom was there for a time at your expense. Oh, I've have had relationships and marriages even children came out of some. I never thought I'd stop in living like the way I was. It never entered my mind at all, nor would anyone would bring up in helping "self" to see something different in how to stop and detour my life.Oh at times I went back and had seen my momma and she always loved me just like it never ever stopped. I hid alot of things from her that never enterered in our conversations simply I didn't want her to know and thought that she would tell me to leave and never come back to her home again so I kept quiet about it at those times I had been visiting Mom,except to be a good girl.I had lost one child in what had happend in the way I lived my life and some of them from the x's and people whom had tons of money whom ruled the world with an iron fists and towns of which we lived. I couldn't fight it and I lost something that was so precious to me. It had me even tighter and I never knew what to do. But stick my thumb out and hit the trails onward I went back to the home town of which I was born and as it had taken a while while I had been on the road which was full of dangers into the next day . Some of the time that it was fun but today looking back it was the darkest days in my own life. All of those dark nights that was lit from 24 hours lasted more than hours but weeks at a time. I never never ever said that he ever was a person of a father figure to me but as a sperm donor for my mother[Real] is all he had been to me but my real mother life whom loved him and of course had more children between them. So that pretty much how it was back then for me. Until one night and being seperated once again, I had went to someones home and relaxed like I always did with people I knew very well. That night was just a peek of what terrible things that had taken place in my world. And this what some people likes to do to "young ladies or women"I was literally thrown into a car and they had taken me to an abandon house and beat the daylights out of me and raped me and tried to kill me that horrible night that lasted till early morning.For some reason I said a get me out of here prayers, I then saw something liked I'd never ever seen before in my entire life and I've never forgot it till this day. It was a figure liked I've never seen before but the funny part about it it was missing a face while it was there! Oh it white and hands like a real person has on one glossy set of hands and you could see right through it. And a golden crown . Now, that amazed me like never before! Then I saw this figure waving those hands to come this way but it stumped me because I didn't know where those men were in the house. I looked around to see where they were in that place. I wiped away the blood on my face so I could see some what better. As I looked again that person or thing was still waving at me to come unto them. I was frightened and didn't know what to expect! So I just got off that floor and headed out the window and that things or person that I had seen just felt like it guided me to where safety and as they led me then what I then seen was a huge drop to hit the ground. As I did my ankel twisted and I somehow got back straight and ran until I found some help in a apt. building and ran inside. I knocked on door and a another man came to the door and I at once covered myself up and passed out on the floor. Just as You already know where I woke up at and to see just the very fact I was ALIVE! I had lost the court case and to my suprise from what I had found out they did it again to someone much younger than me. That was 2 weeks later after the courts. I went into treatment and left that town simply because my hubby didn't like the fact that I been done by the other race. Man I was so bitterly angry at men so I had turn into a homosexual for a time and when I was in my stupor while drinking I had come to realize what the heck I was doing in a relationship with this woman and I went through tons of help back then and under a shrink for so many years, It was hard but I kept it up after it so I could do what was told to me so I could get better. I went through secular programs and I did so much better and even had a child come back to me, then another one which was a suprise. Even tried to always make things work and had all of those emotions sticking out so very badly. It got so bad that my old self came back to me and I literally stabbed someone . Oh, it finally hit me after one of my very heavy drunks that I really needed some help . I went cold turkey and got off those meds that nearly killed me during that time. Later I moved to another place and tried to do things a little differently. I had my scooter buddies that I had met but this time they we not like those in times past. They began to share me about a man called Jesus in which I had only heard about as a child and never believed! But they shared with me that whole weekend and I found a pastor in that town and began searching for more answers to all of my un - answered questions that they had helped me with in my life. They had a quaint little place which was half restaurant, and church. But I got saved in August 18, 1997. I had met someone and then married him as he had other people round him that I didn't know very well and he had this person move in with us and quite frankly really didn't want him there but between the two to my much suprise another person around whom had made drugs and was selling them I had found about when I saw neddles laying around in different places and I left at the pastors request and on my way out of town he nearly ran me over with his semi-truck in that pouring rain storm but than God and I made it to where I was going. I found my self heading to a hospital early the next morning at my best friends advice. She went to school and if I hadn't been home she knew where to come find me. As it turned out I had died and came back and I knew it was the Lord, My savior whom brought me back. There's more to this story that just blows my mind to this day simply because of that happeneing to me this very day. Oh, Yes I had to re-learn everything over again, just as if I was a very sm. child. I had some long talks with the Lord and cried many tears unto Him only to see for my self that those where trials from Him to see if I ment it or wanted to turn back to the old me.But I didn't thank You Jesus! I kept hanging on like i've never ever did in my life. Some of those people were not nice people at all, they was crude and very abnoxious in all those hateful words and cussing at me, walking all over me just as if I hadn't been standing still. But my precious Jesus and I kept praying and communicating with one another and I went to church and they helped me too. But the cold hard facts is Jesus Christ whom got me through it until this very day. I had sugery this year on memorial day weekend over the stuff that happened to me back then. But You know what ? He always told me that he would never ever forskake me.I know and truly believe it with all my heart today.He is still helping me to learn all the more about Him ... I'm so very thankful unto my precious Jesus for showing me His ways for me to live in and all my cares goes unto Him today.Every time I go though His fires of His many test. One more time he molding me more unto Him to be just as he in the likeness in doing my best in leaving more of me in this old very horrible nasty old world.I left my sins where it all needs to be in His glorious righteousness and it is where it absolutley stays for me and being in the one whom is the almighty God. Now I'm doing my best in Him in leaving old teaching of those religious people behind in still having our close relationship in Him together as I want it more and more in my life forever more til he takes us home to be in that new Jerusalem. I just don't like be a person in what God calls a "stiff necked person" which is incorruptable in front of him. I know that he's destroyed alot of the old me.I know that I still get mixed up at times but He's helping me through it all! Today I get tired so easily and have to rest when my body tells me too My mind often times acts like the "lost child". But that's ok because when I get up... I am with Jesus and helping others the best that I can, My husband and I have opened our home to people whom are in this world today. But after they get through asking questions about our faith, they stop right in those tracks and try to not do what they themselves need to do and try to much and be like the devil himself ! Then we share with each and every one that they need some help at first to get out of those damned up emotions, then try Jesus as they go through it all but they refuse all things and out the door they go. Then the next one apprears and it never has stopped here in our home. We keep sharing the word with them one after another.We too, live on a fixed income that don't help any at all except for the medical. food is very low here at our home, we go to the food pantries, and often times to one family member to have them give us a meal or two. But then we help people out in a church when I can help in sacking up food in bags, and clothing pantries as well. That's how our life is for us as we depend on our heavenly Father And He alway's takes care of us,He's shown us both different kinds of ways that only Him can do in taking care of us, we've seen how the Lord bring us money to pay these bills, and car, and food unto us and protects us through these storms that comes through out town. I can never say enough about our Jesus! At least not so much in words to Him Jesus Christ whom I love very deeply inside of myself and is my King, my Lover , whom rules and judges me when it comes to my own final curtain call for me to Bow down at His feet awaiting my own judgement just as everyone else in this earth it is where it's between he and I only. We truly trust Him[Jesus Christ & the Trinity] in every kind of conditions,situations, trials that comes our way in being in him.I'll lways grow as in time and seasons just like many of You but the potter's wheel as He is going forth in every side that brings up such strong reasons to produce all of my causes, issues,that comes before Himself to represents me in all of my ways as an intercessor for the release to come forth in His own "power & authority in taking me unto His own character daily in being in obedience unto Jesus Christ that continues to draw me until He comes for everyone at a moments notice. The idols are gone and all is left is JESUS today.That my sisters & brothers is the way it is here. I know I didn't mentioned alot of other things but in general You get the message, others that whom truly knows me daily know all of those missing parts of my life. i_a,godschild would like to Thank You for allow in this site,group sites, web sites and other prayer sites as well in holding one another up for prayer's being totally united in everyone around this world, it's about Jesus Christ first and prayers,intecessory prayer's and at other times about this vast world we live in today which this old world as we all know it is slowly departing to be reaching our home in glory and Not missing love ever again and may I alway's growing unto my precious Jesus Christ for He's my lawyer, judge unto this world ends. I will alway's praying and sharing with him in my own heart for everyone in my lif No matter where each of You are in this world that God has made as His people whom stands firm and true without a spot or a wringkle in heading to that one final place called: A New Jerusalem" The Prayer that I had used to bring me out of which I had been in for so very long in my own personal life and may it help anyone whom is out in this world that has come of those simliar things as I had done. Hello Everyone; I thought that I would give this testimony of how things had taken place in my very own life. Some of things has been left out of it. Some of these things You could read between the Lines and to know it in your own heart just as if You had been there taking it all in as one would often time do in these simliar things hurts, habits, and all of those hang - ups as a next person that had gone through it as well themselves.I had often times felt that I had already gone onto as people often times say to whom ever living as if we had already have been in world world 3. I'm only saying this because of me growing as a very small baby I had loved so very much for such as Iand as in some people very much they had done all the things that any ones own parent could do for them from infantcy until almost an adolecent. From the time that I was an only child never did I realize what those truths were until my parents had told Me that I am a foster child that they loved so dearly but they didn't like the way that My real Mother was rasing me and she had kept Me to raised in her undivided "Love" beside being raised where she had loving manner with shown Me just where Her Accountability mattered in her homeand not having bad motives and none action that wasn't been alot of "Inconsistencies" had gotton Me to where violence and wreckless parents within the family unit and couldn't be myself in that inviroment is unstable for your growth. I had thought that those was my parent until one day some cold hard fact and truths came creaping out of my momma. She was stern and i knew what she meant and what she said was gospel.But she loved me just the same for being a foster momma to me. I watched her go through so many trials and heartache in her life and she cried and had been hurt by a husband whom had left us to be with another woman and her already made family. My momma did all those things that a parent could and wanted to do as a mother. She worked and I went to school like any other young child. Of course I acted up badly when I had lived with my precious momma, but I was sort of a mean kid whom had done alot of things that I ought not and should not have done. But the one or perhaps many things about her just made me feel like it was always home to me even til the day she passed away. (Years later). She loved me and showed me how to do things in a home, like most momma's do she gave me spankings but it wasn't nothing like my real mother would do. They were so very different as day is to night. My thoughts just never left my momma. You know being with the very brutal side of my real parent will never be forgotton because in the home it was world war 3.It was horrible that at times I just speak of the horrors that went in that place.I later in years found out the real reasons all of those means and ways she had done alot of things which makes a person like I was so bitterly confused, beaten, raped, and almost killed not only by my real mother but her husband too. I'll never forget what it done to my own soul is like living in hell with fire torching me all of the time, day and night was never a miss.They had thier parties that lasted into the wee hours in the mornings every weekend I knew i was in hot water again, just because she would run off from being mad at him. I hated those times because I knew what I was in for every time that would happen.Some of my own family member was just like him and did those simliar thing to me.Only 2 of my siblings made so many efforts for me to live with them but to No avil.Everytime I'd get something nice for those holidays it would get ripped into pieces while the other kids got to keep what they had.After a while I really didn't care about anything anymore! They taught me to be just like them and I lost myself ! I just didn't know me anymore.Her hubby used to call me out to his garage filled with his favorite pop as I watched him pour his drink mixed with alcohol, i'm not going to say anything more about that horrible person in that kind of manner. A few of his own family members was just the same.Some of them as well did thing's in like manner for they are sibling that was older than I . I got so tired of those things and after awhile I was like being under a very heavy doeses of anesthesia that I never came out of from being in that place. Everything I had been taught was lost to never return in such a very ugly inside of myself had been ripped apart destroying anything of which I had known about me was gone and I No longer there! I left that place and right out in the streets and never looked back at that place again for many of years.I was someone like in Germanythat has shared with me simliar virtures that had taken on in my own life from the very start of my street worth had been likein what my husband has shared with me about those brothels that's lined up for many a blocks. It's all I knew how to do and run with the seedy people whom was just like me and thugs,mobsters. I got caught up with people that most people didn't want to cross over if they wanted to stay alive for the most part, or if they owed a favor yet in turn it wasn't good either.Well drugs, alcohol, kept me up and down for most of those years. I had so many problems that it never gave me a clue. Emotions was high going from one place to another even with scooter people whom hung out at all of those places. For the most part they helped me along my years, then I'd back away and find me another crowd to hang out with, it didn't matter how rich you might of been at the end of those nights I was a shallow of a person whom was there for a time at your expense. Oh, I've have had relationships and marriages even children came out of some. I never thought I'd stop in living like the way I was. It never entered my mind at all, nor would anyone would bring up in helping "self" to see something different in how to stop and detour my life.Oh at times I went back and had seen my momma and she always loved me just like it never ever stopped. I hid alot of things from her that never enterered in our conversations simply I didn't want her to know and thought that she would tell me to leave and never come back to her home again so I kept quiet about it at those times I had been visiting Mom,except to be a good girl.I had lost one child in what had happend in the way I lived my life and some of them from the x's and people whom had tons of money whom ruled the world with an iron fists and towns of which we lived. I couldn't fight it and I lost something that was so precious to me. It had me even tighter and I never knew what to do. But stick my thumb out and hit the trails onward I went back to the home town of which I was born and as it had taken a while while I had been on the road which was full of dangers into the next day . Some aof the time that it was fun but today looking back it was the darkes dayst in my own life. All of those dark nights that was lit from 24 hours lasted more than hours but weeks at a time. I never never ever said that he ever was a person of a father figure tp me but as a sperm donor is all he had been to me but my real mother life whom loved him and of course had more children between them. So that pretty much how it was back then for me. Until one night and being seperated once again, I had went to someone home and relaxed like I always did with people I knew very well. That night was just a peek of what terrible things that had taken place in my world. And this what some people likes to do to "young ladies or women"I was literally thrown into a car and they had taken me to an abandon house and beat the daylights out of me and raped me and tried to kill me that horrible night that lasted till early morning.For some reason I said a get me out of here prayers, I then saw something liked I'd never ever seen before in my entire life and I've never forgot it till this day. It was a figure liked I've never seen before but the funny part about it it was missing a face while it was there! Oh it white and hands like a real person has on one glossy set of hands and you could see right through it. And a golden crown . Now, that amazed me like never before! Then I saw this figure waving those hands to come this way but it stumped me because I didn't know where those men were in the house. I looked around to see where they were in that place. I wiped away the blood on my face so I could see some what better. As I looked again that person or thing was still waving at me to come unto them. I was frightened and didn't know what to expect! So I just got off that floor and headed out the window and that things or person that I had seen just felt like it guided me to where safety and as they led me then what I then seen was a huge drop to hit the ground. As I did my ankel twisted and I somehow got back straight and ran until I found some helpin a apt. building and ran inside. I knocked on door and a another man came to the door and I at once covered myself up and passed out on the floor. Just as You already know where I woke up at and to see just the very fact I was ALIVE! I had lost the court case and to my suprise from what I had found out they did it again to someone much younger than me. That was 2 weeks later after the courts. I went into treatment and left that town simply because my hubby didn't like the fact that I been done by the other race. I went through tons of help back then and under a shrink for so many years, It was hard but I kept after it so I could do what was told to me so I could get better. I went through secular programs and I did so much better and even had a child come back to me, then another one which was a suprise. Even tried to always make things work and had all of those emotions sticking out so very badly. It got so bad that my old self came back to me and I literally stabbed someone . Oh, it finally hit me after one of my very heavy drunks that I really needed some help . I went cold turkey and got off those meds that nearly killed me during that time. Later I moved to another place and tried to do things a little differently. I had my scooter buddies that I had met but this time they we not like those in times past. They began to share me about a man called Jesus in which I had only heard about as a child and never believed! But they shared with me that whole weekend and I found a pastor in that town and began searching for more. They had a quaint little place which was half resturant, and church. But I got saved that year of 1997. I had met someone and then married him as he had other people round him that I didn't know very well and he had this person move in with us and quite frankly really didn't want him there but between the two to my much suprise another person around whom had made drugs and was selling themI had found about when I saw Neddles laying around in different places and I left at the pastors request and on my way out of town he nearly ran me over with his semi-truck in that pouring rain storm but than God I made it to where I was going. I found my self heading to a hospital early the next morning at my best friends advice. She went to school and if I hadn't been home she knew where to come find me. As it turned out I had died and came back and I knew it was the Lord, My savior whom brought me back. There's more to this story that just blows my mind to this day simply because of that happeneing to me this very day. Oh, Yes I had to re-learn everything over again, just as if I was a very sm. child. I had some long talks with the Lord and cried many tears unto Him only to see for my self that those where trials from Him to see if I ment it or wanted to turn back to the old me.But I didn't thank You Jesus! I kept hanging on like i've never ever did in my life. Some of those people were not nice people at all, they was crude and very abnoxious in all those hateful words and cussing at me, walking all over me just as if I hadn't been standing still.But my precious Jesus and I kept praying and communicating with one another and I went to church and they helped me too. But the cold hard facts is Jesus Christ whom got me through it until this very day. I had sugery this year on memorial day weekend over the stuff that happened to me back then. But You know what ? He always told me that he would never ever forskake me.I know and truly believe it with all my heart today.He is still helping me to learn all the more about Him ... I'm so very thankful unto my precious Jesus for showing me His ways for me to live in and all my cares goes unto Him today.Every time I go though His fires of His many test. One more time he molding me more unto Him to be just as he in the likeness in doing my best in leaving more of me in this old very horrible nasty old world.I left my sins where it all needs to be in His glorious righteousness and it is where it absolutley stays for me and being in the one whom is the almighty God. Now I'm doing my best in Him in leaving old teaching of those religious people behind in still having our close relationship in Him together as I want it more and more in my life forever more til he takes us home to be in that new Jerusalem. I just don't like still be a person in what God calls a "stiff necked person" which is incorruptable in front of him. I know that he's destroyed alot of the old me.I know that I still get mixed up at times but He's helping me through it all! Today I get tired so easily and have to rest when my body tells me too My mind often times acts like the "lost child". But that's ok because when I get up... I am with Jesus and helping others the best that I can, My husband and I have opened our home to people whom are in this world today. But after they get through asking questions about our faith, they stop right in those tracks and try to not do what they themselves need to do and try to much and be like the devil himself ! Then we share with each and every one that they need some help at first to get out of those damned up emotions, then try Jesus as they go through it all but they refuse all things and out the door they go. Then the next one apprears and it never has stopped here in our home. We keep sharing the word with them one after another.We too, live on a fixed income that don't help any at all except for the medical. food is very low here at our home, we go to the food pantries, and often times to one family member to have them give us a meal or two. But then we help people out in a church when I can help in sacking up food in bags, and clothing pantries as well. That's how our life is for us as we depend on our heavenly Father And He alway's takes care of us,He's shown us both different kinds of way that only Him can do in taking care of us, we've seen how the Lord bring us money to pay these bills, and car, and food unto us and protects us through these storms that comes through out town. I can never say enough about our Jesus! At least not so much in words as it is in tounges is where it's between he and I only. We truly trust Him[Jesus Christ & the Trinity] in every kind of conditions,situations, trials that comes our way in being in him.I'll lways grow as in time and seasons just like many of You but the potter hs His wheel as He is going forth in every side that brings up such strong reasons to produce all of my causes, issues,that comes before Himself to represents me in all of my ways as an intercessor for the release to come forth in His own "power & authority in taking me unto His own character daily in being in obedience unto Jesus Christ that continues to draw me until He comes for everyone at a moments notice. The idols are gone and all is left is JESUS today.That my sisters & brothers is the way it is here. I know I didn't mentioned alot of other things but in general You get the message, others that know me daily know all of those missing parts of my life. i_a,godschild would like to Thank You for allow in this site,group sites, web sites and other prayer sites as well in holding one another up for prayer's being totally united in everyone around this world, it's about Jesus Christ first and prayers,intecessory prayer's and at other times about this vast world we live in today which this old world as we all know it is slowly departing to be reaching our home in glory and Not missing love ever again and may I alway's growing unto my precious Jesus Christ for He's my lawyer, judge unto this world ends. I will alway's praying and sharing with him in my own heart for everyone in my life No matter where each of You are in this world that God has made as His people whom stands firm and true without a spot or a wringkle in heading to that one final place called: A New Jerusalem" Prayer: Father, I loose any stronghold in my life protecting wrong feelings I have against anyone. Forgive me as I forgive those who have caused me pain, loss or grief. I loose any desire for retribution or to rectify. In the name of Jesus, I loose the power and effects of any harsh or hard words (word curses) spoken about me, to me or by me. I loose any strongholds connected with them. I loose all generational bondages and their stronghold from myself. I thank you Jesus that you have promised whatsoever I bind and loose on earth will be bound and loosed in heaven. In Jesus name, I loose the grave clothes from my soul. I loose any generational bondage from my soul. I loose any opposition and resistance from my soul and I loose any hidden agendas from my soul. I loose, shatter, and destroy the layer of self-control and self-defense, that I have allowed my soul to put down over my unmet needs, my unhealed hurts, and my unresolved issues. Father, some of them have been there for so long, and I have believed they would never be fixed. Forgive me, Father, for believing this, help me to work with You to loose layer after layer myself, so that these layers of vulnerability can be exposed to Your healing grace.I loose the grave clothes from my soul. I loose any generational bondage from my soul. I loose any opposition and resistance from my soul and I loose any hidden agendas from my soul. I loose, shatter, and destroy the layer of self-control and self-defense, that I have allowed my soul to put down over my unmet needs, my unhealed hurts, and my unresolved issues. Father, some of them have been there for so long, and I have believed they would never be fixed. Forgive me, Father, for believing this, help me to work with You to loose layer after layer myself, so that these layers of vulnerability can be exposed to Your healing grace. Thank You for reading this and may You be blessed alway's and forever. Amen. i_amgodschild. . Thank You for reading this and may You be blessed alway's and forever. Amen. i_amgodschild. .

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