i_amgodschildcc.blogspot.com: 05/01/2008

Friday, May 30, 2008

Beatitudes

Mat 5:1 And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:

Mat 5:2 And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,

Mat 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Mat 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

Mat 5:5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

Mat 5:6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

Mat 5:7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

Mat 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

Mat 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Mat 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Mat 5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Mat 5:12

Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is

your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. Matthew 5:1-12

The Big Picture:

This chapter, and the two that follow it, are a sermon; a famous sermon; the sermon upon the mount. It is the longest and fullest continued discourse of our Saviour that we have upon record in all the gospels. It is a practical discourse; there is not much of the credenda of Christianity in it-the things to be believed, but it is wholly taken up with the agenda-the things to be done; these Christ began with in his preaching; for if any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God. The circumstances of the sermon being accounted for (v. 1, 2), the sermon itself follows, the scope of which is, not to fill our heads with notions, but to guide and regulate our practice. I. He proposes blessedness as the end, and gives us the character of those who are entitled to blessedness (very different from the sentiments of a vain world), in eight beatitudes, which may justly be called paradoxes (v. 3-12). II. He prescribes duty as the way, and gives us standing rules of that duty. He directs his disciples, 1. To understand what they are-the salt of the earth, and the lights of the world (v. 13-16). 2. To understand what they have to do-they are to be governed by the moral law. Here is, (1.) A general ratification of the law, and a recommendation of it to us, as our rule (v. 17-20). (2.) A particular rectification of divers mistakes; or, rather, a reformation of divers wilful, gross corruptions, which the scribes and Pharisees had introduced in their exposition of the law; and an authentic explication of divers branches which most needed to be explained and vindicated (v. 20). Particularly, here is an explication, [1.] Of the sixth commandment, which forbids murder (v. 21-26). [2.] Of the seventh commandment, against adultery (v. 27-32). [3.] Of the third commandment (v. 33-37). [4.] Of the law of retaliation (v. 38-42). [5.] Of the law of brotherly love (v. 43-48). And the scope of the whole is, to show that the law is spiritual.

Verses 1-2

We have here a general account of this sermon.

I. The Preacher was our Lord Jesus, the Prince of preachers, the great Prophet of his church, who came into the world, to be the Light of the world. The prophets and John had done virtuously in preaching, but Christ excelled them all. He is the eternal Wisdom, that lay in the bosom of the Father, before all worlds, and perfectly knew his will (Jn. 1:18); and he is the eternal Word, by whom he has in these last days spoken to us. The many miraculous cures wrought by Christ in Galilee, which we read of in the close of the foregoing chapter, were intended to make way for this sermon, and to dispose people to receive instructions from one in whom there appeared so much of a divine power and goodness; and, probably, this sermon was the summary, or rehearsal, of what he had preached up and down in the synagogues of Galilee. His text was, Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. This is a sermon on the former part of that text, showing what it is to repent; it is to reform, both in judgment and practice; and here he tells us wherein, in answer to that question (Mal. 3:7), Wherein shall we return? He afterward preached upon the latter part of the text, when, in divers parables, he showed what the kingdom of heaven is like, ch. 13.

II. The place was a mountain in Galilee. As in other things, so in this, our Lord Jesus was but ill accommodated; he had no convenient place to preach in, any more than to lay his head on. While the scribes and Pharisees had Moses' chair to sit in, with all possible ease, honour, and state, and there corrupted the law; our Lord Jesus, the great Teacher of truth, is driven out to the desert, and finds no better a pulpit than a mountain can afford; and not one of the holy mountains neither, not one of the mountains of Zion, but a common mountain; by which Christ would intimate that there is no such distinguishing holiness of places now, under the gospel, as there was under the law; but that it is the will of God that men should pray and preach every where, any where, provided it be decent and convenient. Christ preached this sermon, which was an exposition of the law, upon a mountain, because upon a mountain the law was given; and this was also a solemn promulgation of the Christian law. But observe the difference: when the law was given, the Lord came down upon the mountain; now the Lord went up: then, he spoke in thunder and lightning; now, in a still small voice: then the people were ordered to keep their distance; now they are invited to draw near: a blessed change! If God's grace and goodness are (as they certainly are) his glory, then the glory of the gospel is the glory that excels, for grace and truth came by Jesus Christ, 2 Co. 3:7; Heb. 12:18, etc. It was foretold of Zebulun and Issachar, two of the tribes of Galilee (Deu. 33:19), that they shall call the people to the mountain; to this mountain we are called, to learn to offer the sacrifices of righteousness. Now was this the mountain of the Lord, where he taught us his ways, Isa. 2:2, 3; Mic. 4:1, 2.

III. The auditors were his disciples, who came unto him; came at his call, as appears by comparing Mk. 3:13, Lu. 6:13. To them he directed his speech, because they followed him for love and learning, while others attended him only for cures. He taught them, because they were willing to be taught (the meek will he teach his way); because they would understand what he taught, which to others was foolishness; and because they were to teach others; and it was therefore requisite that they should have a clear and distinct knowledge of these things themselves. The duties prescribed in this sermon were to be conscientiously performed by all those that would enter into that kingdom of heaven which they were sent to set up, with hope to have the benefit of it. But though this discourse was directed to the disciples, it was in the hearing of the multitude; for it is said (ch. 7:28), The people were astonished. No bounds were set about this mountain, to keep the people off, as were about mount Sinai (Ex. 19:12); for, through Christ, we have access to God, not only to speak to him, but to hear from him. Nay, he had an eye to the multitude, in preaching this sermon. When the fame of his miracles had brought a vast crowd together, he took the opportunity of so great a confluence of people, to instruct them. Note, It is an encouragement to a faithful minister to cast the net of the gospel where there are a great many fishes, in hope that some will be caught. The sight of a multitude puts life into a preacher, which yet must arise from a desire of their profit, not his own praise.

IV. The solemnity of his sermon is intimated in that word, when he was set. Christ preached many times occasionally, and by interlocutory discourses; but this was a set sermon, kathisantos autou, when he had placed himself so as to be best heard. He sat down as a Judge or Lawgiver. It intimates with what sedateness and composure of mind the things of God should be spoken and heard. He sat, that the scriptures might be fulfilled (Mal. 3:3), He shall sit as a refiner, to purge away the dross, the corrupt doctrines of the sons of Levi. He sat as in the throne, judging right (Ps. 9:4); for the word he spoke shall judge us. That phrase, He opened his mouth, is only a Hebrew periphrasis of speaking, as Job 3:1. Yet some think it intimates the solemnity of this discourse; the congregation being large, he raised his voice, and spoke louder than usual. He had spoken long by his servants the prophets, and opened their mouths (Eze. 3:27; 24:27; 33:22); but now he opened his own, and spoke with freedom, as one having authority. One of the ancients has this remark upon it; Christ taught much without opening his mouth. that is, by his holy and exemplary life; nay, he taught, when, being led as a lamb to the slaughter, he opened not his mouth, but now he opened his mouth, and taught, that the scriptures might be fulfilled, Prov. 8:1, 2, 6. Doth not wisdom cry-cry on the top of high places? And the opening of her lips shall be right things. He taught them, according to the promise (Isa. 54:13), All thy children shall be taught of the Lord; for this purpose he had the tongue of the learned (Isa. 50:4), and the Spirit of the Lord, Isa. 61:1. He taught them, what was the evil they should abhor, and what was the good they should abide and abound in; for Christianity is not a matter of speculation, but is designed to regulate the temper of our minds and the tenour of our conversations; gospel-time is a time of reformation (Heb. 9:10); and by the gospel we must be reformed, must be made good, must be made better. The truth, as it is in Jesus, is the truth which is according to godliness, Tit. 1:1. The Bottomline:

None will find happiness in this world or the next, who do not seek it from Christ by the rule of his word. He taught them what was the evil they should abhor, and what the good they should seek and abound in. (Mt 5:3-12)

Who are blessed.

Our Saviour here gives eight characters of blessed people, which represent to us the principal graces of a Christian. 1. The poor in spirit are happy. These bring their minds to their condition, when it is a low condition. They are humble and lowly in their own eyes. They see their want, bewail their guilt, and thirst after a Redeemer. The kingdom of grace is of such; the kingdom of glory is for them. 2. Those that mourn are happy. That godly sorrow which worketh true repentance,

watchfulness, a humble mind, and continual dependence for acceptance on the mercy of God in Christ Jesus, with constant seeking the Holy Spirit, to cleanse away the remaining evil, seems here to be intended. Heaven is the joy of our Lord; a mountain of joy, to which our way is through a vale of tears. Such mourners shall be comforted by their God. 3. The meek are happy. The meek are those who quietly submit to God; who can bear insult; are silent, or return a soft answer; who, in their

patience, keep possession of their own souls, when they can scarcely keep possession of anything else. These meek ones are happy, even in this world. Meekness promotes wealth, comfort, and safety, even in this world. 4. Those who hunger and thirst after righteousness are happy. Righteousness is here put for all spiritual blessings. These are purchased for us by the righteousness of Christ, confirmed by the faithfulness of God. Our desires of spiritual blessings must be earnest. Though all

desires for grace are not grace, yet such a desire as this, is a desire of God's own raising, and he will not forsake the work of his own hands. 5. The merciful are happy. We must not only bear our own afflictions patiently, but we must do all we can to help those who are in misery. We must have compassion on the souls of others, and help them; pity those who are in sin, and seek to snatch them as brands out of the burning. 6. The pure in heart are happy; for they shall see God. Here holiness

and happiness are fully described and put together. The heart must be purified by faith, and kept for God. Create in me such a clean heart, O God. None but the pure are capable of seeing God, nor would heaven be happiness to the impure. As God cannot endure to look upon their iniquity, so they cannot look upon his purity. 7. The peace-makers are happy. They love, and desire, and delight in peace; and study to be quiet. They keep the peace that it be not broken, and recover it when it is broken.

If the peace-makers are blessed, woe to the peace-breakers! 8. Those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake are happy. This saying is peculiar to Christianity; and it is more largely insisted upon than any of the rest. Yet there is nothing in our sufferings that can merit of God; but God will provide that those who lose for him, though life itself, shall not lose by him in the end. Blessed Jesus! how different are thy maxims from those of men of this world! They call the proud happy, and

admire the gay, the rich, the powerful, and the victorious. May we find mercy from the Lord; may we be owned as his children, and inherit his kingdom. With these enjoyments and hopes, we may cheerfully welcome low or painful circumstances. (Mt 5:13-16)

May we BE blessed by this word of our precious Jesus and what this pertains to in that deepest part of our each individuals and forever hold to what our lessons may bring unto our own life.For each of has to make our own choices and may it come deeply in the life of each one in all hopes in making it to one true self and never stray from the word of the Lord Jesus Christ after all He's coming for all of those whom are with him in having that divine relationship that never ever ends upon one's death. We all have to make that choice in which way we will all spend eternity on one whom stand in front of the Lord of which No one escapes it at all ! I'll pray for each person whom can make it right for themselves and have those gates open up for YOU to live forever in Him. I GoodSearch for [your cause].

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Monday, May 26, 2008

Memorial Day 2008

Memorial Day 2008 In Remembrance of Charles E. Close whom served in SP471B20 HQUSAAMAC (WOB6AA )APO NY 09028: United States Army Aviation Maintenance Center 68-71 America My country tis of thee,Sweet land of Liberty, Of thee I Sing; Land where my Fathers died, Land of the pilgrim's pride, From every mountain side Let Freedom Ring. My native country, thee Land of the noble ,free, Thy name I love; I love thy rocks and rills, Thy woods and temple hills; My heart with rapture thrills Like that above.

Charles ( Charlie) E. Close, Nov.11,1943 He was born and Served His Country like all of rest have done from years past to this present age, and I Thank You all for keeping us free from all that each of you to in all departments of services of the Unided States of America. He first loved Jehovah God, Jesus Christ in his own life till the day he passed away on May 22,2008. He was a man whom sorely stood on honor,God,and all those atributes of a family man and as He had been someone whom had two ways of living ( Rebel, Horse, biker charlie) in his life from those by-gone years he always searched for truths as he soared those heavens in finding all answers to what was in his way in life that went beyond compare that his dreams came to past in serving to where it came no matter how far he was there to help all different people and backgrounds. He had children and grandchildren whom loved him dearly and kids off those streets he showed how much he cared for each one of them and often times they had called him dad or pops he was there for them. Just as many grown up adults whom call him brother or sister his phone calls and shoulder was always opened to all. He was a husband of valor with God at his side in showing us all how to live then live forever in God's Arms holding each one of us daily till he went home to be with Jesus Christ. He will be greatly missed by his family and dearest friend as my husband, children, grandchildren, great- grandchildren and to all of those people whom came by thos ways of bike rides along our journeys. Now your in heaven celebrating living in peace, in heaven sitting and being in His presence of Emmanuel our king of Kings and singing His praises which never darkens by His light shining forever waiting us to follow behind you sweetheart what a blessing for me in my own heart just to be able to meet you at heaven's gate showing me around in beulah land. In Loving Memory. Cathy Close.

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Here's a new easy way to raise money for your favorite cause. Just start using GoodSearch.com as your search engine and online shopping mall. Every time you search the Internet or make an online purchase at one of their partner merchants, GoodSearch makes a donation to your favorite nonprofit or school and it's powered by Yahoo! so you get great search results!http://wwwGoodSearch.com.

Friday, May 23, 2008

cclose Passed Away

Cclose Passed Away and has gone to be with the Lord on Thur. the 22,2008 at the home of his sisters that evening at 10:18 pm . The funeral will be at Swan Lake Memorial Gardens 3105 S. Slaughter Rd. Grain Valley, Missouri 64029 816- 229-8242. The family will be taking donations for to lessoning up on the cost of the funeral they are on social security only. If anyone whom like to contribute please call the Funeral Home that is listed here on this post. We the Family and friends would like to thank each person in giving funds in helping with the costs in advance for all of your prayers and helping us today. cathy....i_amgodschild.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Hello Family & Friends

Hello to all of our Friends & Family that we dearly love and cherish so very much in our life we togather are asking to keep a prayer vigal on "Charlie's" behalf simply because he's been in the Veterens hospital since May 11,2008. He was fine before this had happened a couple days before the family rushed him to the hospital. He's been in Intensive care unit since then. They have run so many tests on him to date to see just what's going on with him right now, today they are running a C.T.Scan on him to see wht's going on inside of him and as of this morning they have lowered his oxygen level to see if he can totally breathe on his own without anyof sharing with him to breathe. I'LL be in and out of the home till jesus christ brings him back home with a full recovery in his body, mind, spirit, body. I've been saying healing scriptures over him and at home. I'll get back with everyone as soon as I can to share with everyone Jesus Christ progress on his life. I do want to say to everyone in thanking ya'll in advance for all of your prayers for our family and please pass this on to other prayer warriors as well around the clock. i_amgodschild.I GoodSearch for [your cause].

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Here's a new easy way to raise money for your favorite cause. Just start using GoodSearch.com as your search engine and online shopping mall. Every time you search the Internet or make an online purchase at one of their partner merchants, GoodSearch makes a donation to your favorite nonprofit or school and it's powered by Yahoo! so you get great search results!http://wwwGoodSearch.com.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Sharing With Friends Today

Hello Dear Friends; I know it's been a very long time since I sat down and shared with all of you on the net. Please forgive me please! Since Charlie has been down for some time now I have been sticking close to him alot. Taking time for what He needs since he's been going through his cancer treatments which has literally brought him down for sometime now. He's lost his weight and the doctors are giving him stuff to drink 3 times a day plus medicine to bring up his appetite

. Sometime soon he will be having a hospice coming our home to check on him and taking back information to his doctors at the veterns hospital. Some day are good and other days are not for him plus he get depressed and his body hurts him. I do wanted each of you all to know that i've been praying for all prayer request as I get them from each room in yahoo. When I see the outcomes for each individuals in each room I praise the Lord right along side of each of you with your praise reports as well.I do want to take the time out in thanking each of you for praying for Brandi Gourley in her returning home safe and sound. Keep it up for the family we are putting it in our precious Jesus hands in guiding her in His truths in being obedient unto Him first and formost in her own life. " For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed and hid, that shall not be known" Matt.10:26b. " For nothing is secret, that shall not be manifest;neither anything his, that shall not be known and come abroad." Luke 8:17. For God hath revealed them unto us by His spirit". 1Cor.2:10. We all do have God's providential care in each one of our lives. Our Precious Jesus know how to expose those and does bring everything to light and thoughts out in the open, simply because He already knows us as individuals in all that we do before Him Ps.139:1-4. I know has plans for Brnadi's own lifeand it will be far much greater than she ever has thought about inside of herself for He is the reparer of our life and she will know it for herself in returning home. "I thank you Father for the gift you have given of my childrenand all other children. I bring them before your throne of grace and mercy, thanking You that You will perfect that which concerns me. (Ps., 138:8) I thank you Father, that You formed them in my womb, that you planned for their birth, (Jer. 1:5) and that from the moment of conception they have been alive into You. Thank you Father, that You have lifted Brandi up above those that rise up against her and her family (Ps. 18:45), that You deliver them from the evil man, and preserve them from the violent man. (Ps. 140:1) Thank you that You keep Brandi from any trap, which has been laid for her, and that the wicked will fall together into their own nets, while pass over them and escape. In Jesus Name, Amen" i_amgodschild.

Welcome Home To I_amgodschildcc Place

This is a very warm Welcome To each of You whom came unto this place, i_am godschild cc Home I am glad that you decided to join. I am sure you will find many blessings with us as I am sure you will be a blessing to our family. i_amgodschildcc Home is a Special Room for us to come to for PRAISE and WORSHIP to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, praying for each other, praying for all prayer requests that are shared with us, share testimonies, Bible studies, Christian devotionals, poems, songs and Christian inspirational sites. We are a group of believers dedicated to lifting in prayer the needs that are shared with us, sustain our brethen, Praise the Lord, spread the Wordof God and to reach out to lost and unsaved souls.OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE HAS NO PLACE IN THIS CHRIST CENTERED HOME!!! Because many people has grown up in hearing and /or using offensive language, this is very painful to ALL of us in this home it will NOT be tolerated at ALL!!! If someone post those types of Offensive lanuage you will be deleated Immediately DISMISSED otherwise Banned from this Home of the Lord Jesus Christ it will NOT be tolerated at ALL!!!! There is NO asking for Donations or Money of to Send Money of any kind in Advertising your work. If the Lord wants someone to send money to a person, He will place it upon the heart of someone to do so. It would be appreciated if All people whom come to this site that if You whom come to post here that You would refrain from Gossip or Critizing people here in this home of Jesus Christ for we do Not do any kind of disagreements, nor we Debate it anything in this Home at All!! It will Not, for the Lord say's in His Sword of His Own Word in this manner for all of Us to follow and adhere to: "You brood of snakes ! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. A good person produces good words from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart. And I tell You this, that YOU Must give an account on Judgement day of every idle word You speak The Words You say now reflects Your fate then; either You will be justified by them or You will be condemned...[Matt.12:34-36N.L.T.] Feel free to post on the message board as the Holy Spirit leads you. Please share your prayers and be in agreement with other prayers that are shared with us. Let's just lift Holy hands and Praise the Lord today!!

14 Oh, how generous and gracious our Lord was! He filled me with the faith and love that come from Christ Jesus.

15 This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. 16 But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. 17 All honor and glory to God forever and ever! He is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; he alone is God. Amen.

1 Timothy 1:14-17 (New Living Translation)

My Prayer for You in each one of you as an individual person and family and friends as well as aquaintances this journey we call life is for All of You!

10 Love each other with genuine affection,^[a] and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.^[b] 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Romans 12:10-13 (New Living Translation)

My Testimony

Hello Everyone; I thought that I would give this testimony of how things had taken place in my very own life. Some of things has been left out of it. Some of these things You could read between the Lines and to know it in your own heart just as if You had been there taking it all in as one would often time do in these simliar things hurts, habits, and all of those hang - ups as a next person that had gone through it as well themselves.I had often times felt that I had already gone onto as people often times say to whom ever living as if we had already have been in world world 3. I'm only saying this because of me growing as a very small baby I had a Foster Mother in whom I loved so very much for such as I was literally told by her momma from an infant that she wasn't my true Mother that I had a real mother with many siblings living with her and I'd had better get used to it in my life and as in some people very much they had done all the things that any ones own parent could do for them from infancy until almost an adolecent. From the time that I was an only child never did I realize what those truths were until my parents had told Me that I am a foster child that they loved so dearly but they didn't like the way that My real Mother was rasing me and she had kept Me to raised in her undivided "Love" beside being raised where she had loving manner with shown Me just where Her Accountability mattered in her home. Now in my "Real Mother's " home it was so much of a vast differences in her home, and having bad motives and none action that wasn't alot of "Inconsistencies" had gotton Me to where violence and wreckless parents within the family unit and couldn't be myself in that inviroment that for sure was very unstable for my own personal growth. I had thought that those was my parent until one day some cold hard fact and truths came creaping out of my momma. She was stern and I knew what she meant and what she said was gospel.But she loved me just the same for being my foster momma to me. I watched her go through so many trials and heartache in her life and she cried and had been hurt by a husband whom had left us to be with another woman and her already made family. My momma did all those things that a parent could and wanted to do as a mother. She worked and I went to school like any other young child. Of course I acted up badly when I had lived with my precious momma, but I was sort of a mean kid whom had done alot of things that I ought not and should not have done. But the one or perhaps many things about her just made me feel like it was always home to me even til the day she passed away. (Years earlier). She loved me and showed me how to do things in a home, like most momma's do she gave me spankings but it wasn't nothing like my real mother would do. They were so very different as day is to night. My thoughts just never left my momma. You know being with the very brutal side of my real parent will never be forgotton because in the home it was world war 3. It was horrible that at times It just speaks to all of those horable things that had happened to me while living in that place of such high frequencies of motives and in - actions that only a person like me had gone through in a persons own life, of the horrors that went in that place. I later in years found out the real reasons all of those mean actions of the way she was to me and ways she had done alot of things which makes a person like I was so bitterly confused, beaten, raped, and almost killed not only by my real mother but her husband too. I'll never forget what it done to my own soul is like living in hell with fire torching me all of the time, day and night was never a miss.Bu they cursed at me telling me that I was No good and I wasn't going to amount to anything and more cursing came at me like it rolled like a thunder storm in every breath they had taken and couldn't even ask why,I couldn't share my thoughts with them because sure enough I would get it again. They had their parties that lasted into the wee hours in the mornings every weekend with things in the home got broken simly because it would be broken up , fighting, cursing at each other, the windows of the car got broken by a brick being thrown from mother's hand because of those things he had done to her. I knew that I was in hot water again, just because she would run off from being mad at him. I hated those times because I knew what I was in for every time that would happen. Some of my own family member was just like him and did those simliar thing to me.Only 2 of my siblings made so many efforts for me to live with them but to No avil. Everytime I'd get something nice for those holidays it would get ripped into pieces while the other kids got to keep what they had. After a while I really didn't care about anything anymore! They taught me to be just like them and I lost myself ! I just didn't know me anymore.Her hubby used to call me out to his garage filled his brown "Dr. Peppers" glass with his favorite pop as I watched him pour his drink mixed with alcohol, i'm not going to say anything more about that horrible person in that kind of manner. A few of his own family members was just the same. Some of them as well did thing's in like manner for they are sibling that was older than I . I got so tired of those things and after awhile I was like being under a very heavy doeses of anesthesia that I never came out of from being in that place. Everything I had been taught was lost to never return in such a very ugly inside of myself had been ripped apart destroying anything of which I had known about me was gone and I ws No longer there! I left that place and right out in the streets and never looked back at that place again for many of years.I was someone like in Germany that has shared with me simliar virtures that had taken on in my own life from the very start of my street worth had been like in what my husband has shared with me about those brothels that's lined up for many a blocks. It's all I knew how to do and run with the seedy people whom was just like me and thugs,mobsters, thieves. I got caught up with people that most people didn't want to cross over if they wanted to stay alive for the most part, or if they owed a favor yet in turn it wasn't good either.Well drugs, alcohol, kept me up and down for most of those years. I had so many problems that it never gave me a clue. Emotions was high going from one place to another even with scooter people whom I'd hung out at all of those places. For the most part they helped me along my years, then I'd back away and find me another crowd to hang out with, it didn't matter how rich you might of been at the end of those nights I was a shallow of a person whom was there for a time at your expense. Oh, I've have had relationships and marriages even children came out of some. I never thought I'd stop in living like the way I was. It never entered my mind at all, nor would anyone would bring up in helping "self" to see something different in how to stop and detour my life.Oh at times I went back and had seen my momma and she always loved me just like it never ever stopped. I hid alot of things from her that never enterered in our conversations simply I didn't want her to know and thought that she would tell me to leave and never come back to her home again so I kept quiet about it at those times I had been visiting Mom,except to be a good girl.I had lost one child in what had happend in the way I lived my life and some of them from the x's and people whom had tons of money whom ruled the world with an iron fists and towns of which we lived. I couldn't fight it and I lost something that was so precious to me. It had me even tighter and I never knew what to do. But stick my thumb out and hit the trails onward I went back to the home town of which I was born and as it had taken a while while I had been on the road which was full of dangers into the next day . Some of the time that it was fun but today looking back it was the darkest days in my own life. All of those dark nights that was lit from 24 hours lasted more than hours but weeks at a time. I never never ever said that he ever was a person of a father figure to me but as a sperm donor for my mother[Real] is all he had been to me but my real mother life whom loved him and of course had more children between them. So that pretty much how it was back then for me. Until one night and being seperated once again, I had went to someones home and relaxed like I always did with people I knew very well. That night was just a peek of what terrible things that had taken place in my world. And this what some people likes to do to "young ladies or women"I was literally thrown into a car and they had taken me to an abandon house and beat the daylights out of me and raped me and tried to kill me that horrible night that lasted till early morning.For some reason I said a get me out of here prayers, I then saw something liked I'd never ever seen before in my entire life and I've never forgot it till this day. It was a figure liked I've never seen before but the funny part about it it was missing a face while it was there! Oh it white and hands like a real person has on one glossy set of hands and you could see right through it. And a golden crown . Now, that amazed me like never before! Then I saw this figure waving those hands to come this way but it stumped me because I didn't know where those men were in the house. I looked around to see where they were in that place. I wiped away the blood on my face so I could see some what better. As I looked again that person or thing was still waving at me to come unto them. I was frightened and didn't know what to expect! So I just got off that floor and headed out the window and that things or person that I had seen just felt like it guided me to where safety and as they led me then what I then seen was a huge drop to hit the ground. As I did my ankel twisted and I somehow got back straight and ran until I found some help in a apt. building and ran inside. I knocked on door and a another man came to the door and I at once covered myself up and passed out on the floor. Just as You already know where I woke up at and to see just the very fact I was ALIVE! I had lost the court case and to my suprise from what I had found out they did it again to someone much younger than me. That was 2 weeks later after the courts. I went into treatment and left that town simply because my hubby didn't like the fact that I been done by the other race. Man I was so bitterly angry at men so I had turn into a homosexual for a time and when I was in my stupor while drinking I had come to realize what the heck I was doing in a relationship with this woman and I went through tons of help back then and under a shrink for so many years, It was hard but I kept it up after it so I could do what was told to me so I could get better. I went through secular programs and I did so much better and even had a child come back to me, then another one which was a suprise. Even tried to always make things work and had all of those emotions sticking out so very badly. It got so bad that my old self came back to me and I literally stabbed someone . Oh, it finally hit me after one of my very heavy drunks that I really needed some help . I went cold turkey and got off those meds that nearly killed me during that time. Later I moved to another place and tried to do things a little differently. I had my scooter buddies that I had met but this time they we not like those in times past. They began to share me about a man called Jesus in which I had only heard about as a child and never believed! But they shared with me that whole weekend and I found a pastor in that town and began searching for more answers to all of my un - answered questions that they had helped me with in my life. They had a quaint little place which was half restaurant, and church. But I got saved in August 18, 1997. I had met someone and then married him as he had other people round him that I didn't know very well and he had this person move in with us and quite frankly really didn't want him there but between the two to my much suprise another person around whom had made drugs and was selling them I had found about when I saw neddles laying around in different places and I left at the pastors request and on my way out of town he nearly ran me over with his semi-truck in that pouring rain storm but than God and I made it to where I was going. I found my self heading to a hospital early the next morning at my best friends advice. She went to school and if I hadn't been home she knew where to come find me. As it turned out I had died and came back and I knew it was the Lord, My savior whom brought me back. There's more to this story that just blows my mind to this day simply because of that happeneing to me this very day. Oh, Yes I had to re-learn everything over again, just as if I was a very sm. child. I had some long talks with the Lord and cried many tears unto Him only to see for my self that those where trials from Him to see if I ment it or wanted to turn back to the old me.But I didn't thank You Jesus! I kept hanging on like i've never ever did in my life. Some of those people were not nice people at all, they was crude and very abnoxious in all those hateful words and cussing at me, walking all over me just as if I hadn't been standing still. But my precious Jesus and I kept praying and communicating with one another and I went to church and they helped me too. But the cold hard facts is Jesus Christ whom got me through it until this very day. I had sugery this year on memorial day weekend over the stuff that happened to me back then. But You know what ? He always told me that he would never ever forskake me.I know and truly believe it with all my heart today.He is still helping me to learn all the more about Him ... I'm so very thankful unto my precious Jesus for showing me His ways for me to live in and all my cares goes unto Him today.Every time I go though His fires of His many test. One more time he molding me more unto Him to be just as he in the likeness in doing my best in leaving more of me in this old very horrible nasty old world.I left my sins where it all needs to be in His glorious righteousness and it is where it absolutley stays for me and being in the one whom is the almighty God. Now I'm doing my best in Him in leaving old teaching of those religious people behind in still having our close relationship in Him together as I want it more and more in my life forever more til he takes us home to be in that new Jerusalem. I just don't like be a person in what God calls a "stiff necked person" which is incorruptable in front of him. I know that he's destroyed alot of the old me.I know that I still get mixed up at times but He's helping me through it all! Today I get tired so easily and have to rest when my body tells me too My mind often times acts like the "lost child". But that's ok because when I get up... I am with Jesus and helping others the best that I can, My husband and I have opened our home to people whom are in this world today. But after they get through asking questions about our faith, they stop right in those tracks and try to not do what they themselves need to do and try to much and be like the devil himself ! Then we share with each and every one that they need some help at first to get out of those damned up emotions, then try Jesus as they go through it all but they refuse all things and out the door they go. Then the next one apprears and it never has stopped here in our home. We keep sharing the word with them one after another.We too, live on a fixed income that don't help any at all except for the medical. food is very low here at our home, we go to the food pantries, and often times to one family member to have them give us a meal or two. But then we help people out in a church when I can help in sacking up food in bags, and clothing pantries as well. That's how our life is for us as we depend on our heavenly Father And He alway's takes care of us,He's shown us both different kinds of ways that only Him can do in taking care of us, we've seen how the Lord bring us money to pay these bills, and car, and food unto us and protects us through these storms that comes through out town. I can never say enough about our Jesus! At least not so much in words to Him Jesus Christ whom I love very deeply inside of myself and is my King, my Lover , whom rules and judges me when it comes to my own final curtain call for me to Bow down at His feet awaiting my own judgement just as everyone else in this earth it is where it's between he and I only. We truly trust Him[Jesus Christ & the Trinity] in every kind of conditions,situations, trials that comes our way in being in him.I'll lways grow as in time and seasons just like many of You but the potter's wheel as He is going forth in every side that brings up such strong reasons to produce all of my causes, issues,that comes before Himself to represents me in all of my ways as an intercessor for the release to come forth in His own "power & authority in taking me unto His own character daily in being in obedience unto Jesus Christ that continues to draw me until He comes for everyone at a moments notice. The idols are gone and all is left is JESUS today.That my sisters & brothers is the way it is here. I know I didn't mentioned alot of other things but in general You get the message, others that whom truly knows me daily know all of those missing parts of my life. i_a,godschild would like to Thank You for allow in this site,group sites, web sites and other prayer sites as well in holding one another up for prayer's being totally united in everyone around this world, it's about Jesus Christ first and prayers,intecessory prayer's and at other times about this vast world we live in today which this old world as we all know it is slowly departing to be reaching our home in glory and Not missing love ever again and may I alway's growing unto my precious Jesus Christ for He's my lawyer, judge unto this world ends. I will alway's praying and sharing with him in my own heart for everyone in my lif No matter where each of You are in this world that God has made as His people whom stands firm and true without a spot or a wringkle in heading to that one final place called: A New Jerusalem" The Prayer that I had used to bring me out of which I had been in for so very long in my own personal life and may it help anyone whom is out in this world that has come of those simliar things as I had done. Hello Everyone; I thought that I would give this testimony of how things had taken place in my very own life. Some of things has been left out of it. Some of these things You could read between the Lines and to know it in your own heart just as if You had been there taking it all in as one would often time do in these simliar things hurts, habits, and all of those hang - ups as a next person that had gone through it as well themselves.I had often times felt that I had already gone onto as people often times say to whom ever living as if we had already have been in world world 3. I'm only saying this because of me growing as a very small baby I had loved so very much for such as Iand as in some people very much they had done all the things that any ones own parent could do for them from infantcy until almost an adolecent. From the time that I was an only child never did I realize what those truths were until my parents had told Me that I am a foster child that they loved so dearly but they didn't like the way that My real Mother was rasing me and she had kept Me to raised in her undivided "Love" beside being raised where she had loving manner with shown Me just where Her Accountability mattered in her homeand not having bad motives and none action that wasn't been alot of "Inconsistencies" had gotton Me to where violence and wreckless parents within the family unit and couldn't be myself in that inviroment is unstable for your growth. I had thought that those was my parent until one day some cold hard fact and truths came creaping out of my momma. She was stern and i knew what she meant and what she said was gospel.But she loved me just the same for being a foster momma to me. I watched her go through so many trials and heartache in her life and she cried and had been hurt by a husband whom had left us to be with another woman and her already made family. My momma did all those things that a parent could and wanted to do as a mother. She worked and I went to school like any other young child. Of course I acted up badly when I had lived with my precious momma, but I was sort of a mean kid whom had done alot of things that I ought not and should not have done. But the one or perhaps many things about her just made me feel like it was always home to me even til the day she passed away. (Years later). She loved me and showed me how to do things in a home, like most momma's do she gave me spankings but it wasn't nothing like my real mother would do. They were so very different as day is to night. My thoughts just never left my momma. You know being with the very brutal side of my real parent will never be forgotton because in the home it was world war 3.It was horrible that at times I just speak of the horrors that went in that place.I later in years found out the real reasons all of those means and ways she had done alot of things which makes a person like I was so bitterly confused, beaten, raped, and almost killed not only by my real mother but her husband too. I'll never forget what it done to my own soul is like living in hell with fire torching me all of the time, day and night was never a miss.They had thier parties that lasted into the wee hours in the mornings every weekend I knew i was in hot water again, just because she would run off from being mad at him. I hated those times because I knew what I was in for every time that would happen.Some of my own family member was just like him and did those simliar thing to me.Only 2 of my siblings made so many efforts for me to live with them but to No avil.Everytime I'd get something nice for those holidays it would get ripped into pieces while the other kids got to keep what they had.After a while I really didn't care about anything anymore! They taught me to be just like them and I lost myself ! I just didn't know me anymore.Her hubby used to call me out to his garage filled with his favorite pop as I watched him pour his drink mixed with alcohol, i'm not going to say anything more about that horrible person in that kind of manner. A few of his own family members was just the same.Some of them as well did thing's in like manner for they are sibling that was older than I . I got so tired of those things and after awhile I was like being under a very heavy doeses of anesthesia that I never came out of from being in that place. Everything I had been taught was lost to never return in such a very ugly inside of myself had been ripped apart destroying anything of which I had known about me was gone and I No longer there! I left that place and right out in the streets and never looked back at that place again for many of years.I was someone like in Germanythat has shared with me simliar virtures that had taken on in my own life from the very start of my street worth had been likein what my husband has shared with me about those brothels that's lined up for many a blocks. It's all I knew how to do and run with the seedy people whom was just like me and thugs,mobsters. I got caught up with people that most people didn't want to cross over if they wanted to stay alive for the most part, or if they owed a favor yet in turn it wasn't good either.Well drugs, alcohol, kept me up and down for most of those years. I had so many problems that it never gave me a clue. Emotions was high going from one place to another even with scooter people whom hung out at all of those places. For the most part they helped me along my years, then I'd back away and find me another crowd to hang out with, it didn't matter how rich you might of been at the end of those nights I was a shallow of a person whom was there for a time at your expense. Oh, I've have had relationships and marriages even children came out of some. I never thought I'd stop in living like the way I was. It never entered my mind at all, nor would anyone would bring up in helping "self" to see something different in how to stop and detour my life.Oh at times I went back and had seen my momma and she always loved me just like it never ever stopped. I hid alot of things from her that never enterered in our conversations simply I didn't want her to know and thought that she would tell me to leave and never come back to her home again so I kept quiet about it at those times I had been visiting Mom,except to be a good girl.I had lost one child in what had happend in the way I lived my life and some of them from the x's and people whom had tons of money whom ruled the world with an iron fists and towns of which we lived. I couldn't fight it and I lost something that was so precious to me. It had me even tighter and I never knew what to do. But stick my thumb out and hit the trails onward I went back to the home town of which I was born and as it had taken a while while I had been on the road which was full of dangers into the next day . Some aof the time that it was fun but today looking back it was the darkes dayst in my own life. All of those dark nights that was lit from 24 hours lasted more than hours but weeks at a time. I never never ever said that he ever was a person of a father figure tp me but as a sperm donor is all he had been to me but my real mother life whom loved him and of course had more children between them. So that pretty much how it was back then for me. Until one night and being seperated once again, I had went to someone home and relaxed like I always did with people I knew very well. That night was just a peek of what terrible things that had taken place in my world. And this what some people likes to do to "young ladies or women"I was literally thrown into a car and they had taken me to an abandon house and beat the daylights out of me and raped me and tried to kill me that horrible night that lasted till early morning.For some reason I said a get me out of here prayers, I then saw something liked I'd never ever seen before in my entire life and I've never forgot it till this day. It was a figure liked I've never seen before but the funny part about it it was missing a face while it was there! Oh it white and hands like a real person has on one glossy set of hands and you could see right through it. And a golden crown . Now, that amazed me like never before! Then I saw this figure waving those hands to come this way but it stumped me because I didn't know where those men were in the house. I looked around to see where they were in that place. I wiped away the blood on my face so I could see some what better. As I looked again that person or thing was still waving at me to come unto them. I was frightened and didn't know what to expect! So I just got off that floor and headed out the window and that things or person that I had seen just felt like it guided me to where safety and as they led me then what I then seen was a huge drop to hit the ground. As I did my ankel twisted and I somehow got back straight and ran until I found some helpin a apt. building and ran inside. I knocked on door and a another man came to the door and I at once covered myself up and passed out on the floor. Just as You already know where I woke up at and to see just the very fact I was ALIVE! I had lost the court case and to my suprise from what I had found out they did it again to someone much younger than me. That was 2 weeks later after the courts. I went into treatment and left that town simply because my hubby didn't like the fact that I been done by the other race. I went through tons of help back then and under a shrink for so many years, It was hard but I kept after it so I could do what was told to me so I could get better. I went through secular programs and I did so much better and even had a child come back to me, then another one which was a suprise. Even tried to always make things work and had all of those emotions sticking out so very badly. It got so bad that my old self came back to me and I literally stabbed someone . Oh, it finally hit me after one of my very heavy drunks that I really needed some help . I went cold turkey and got off those meds that nearly killed me during that time. Later I moved to another place and tried to do things a little differently. I had my scooter buddies that I had met but this time they we not like those in times past. They began to share me about a man called Jesus in which I had only heard about as a child and never believed! But they shared with me that whole weekend and I found a pastor in that town and began searching for more. They had a quaint little place which was half resturant, and church. But I got saved that year of 1997. I had met someone and then married him as he had other people round him that I didn't know very well and he had this person move in with us and quite frankly really didn't want him there but between the two to my much suprise another person around whom had made drugs and was selling themI had found about when I saw Neddles laying around in different places and I left at the pastors request and on my way out of town he nearly ran me over with his semi-truck in that pouring rain storm but than God I made it to where I was going. I found my self heading to a hospital early the next morning at my best friends advice. She went to school and if I hadn't been home she knew where to come find me. As it turned out I had died and came back and I knew it was the Lord, My savior whom brought me back. There's more to this story that just blows my mind to this day simply because of that happeneing to me this very day. Oh, Yes I had to re-learn everything over again, just as if I was a very sm. child. I had some long talks with the Lord and cried many tears unto Him only to see for my self that those where trials from Him to see if I ment it or wanted to turn back to the old me.But I didn't thank You Jesus! I kept hanging on like i've never ever did in my life. Some of those people were not nice people at all, they was crude and very abnoxious in all those hateful words and cussing at me, walking all over me just as if I hadn't been standing still.But my precious Jesus and I kept praying and communicating with one another and I went to church and they helped me too. But the cold hard facts is Jesus Christ whom got me through it until this very day. I had sugery this year on memorial day weekend over the stuff that happened to me back then. But You know what ? He always told me that he would never ever forskake me.I know and truly believe it with all my heart today.He is still helping me to learn all the more about Him ... I'm so very thankful unto my precious Jesus for showing me His ways for me to live in and all my cares goes unto Him today.Every time I go though His fires of His many test. One more time he molding me more unto Him to be just as he in the likeness in doing my best in leaving more of me in this old very horrible nasty old world.I left my sins where it all needs to be in His glorious righteousness and it is where it absolutley stays for me and being in the one whom is the almighty God. Now I'm doing my best in Him in leaving old teaching of those religious people behind in still having our close relationship in Him together as I want it more and more in my life forever more til he takes us home to be in that new Jerusalem. I just don't like still be a person in what God calls a "stiff necked person" which is incorruptable in front of him. I know that he's destroyed alot of the old me.I know that I still get mixed up at times but He's helping me through it all! Today I get tired so easily and have to rest when my body tells me too My mind often times acts like the "lost child". But that's ok because when I get up... I am with Jesus and helping others the best that I can, My husband and I have opened our home to people whom are in this world today. But after they get through asking questions about our faith, they stop right in those tracks and try to not do what they themselves need to do and try to much and be like the devil himself ! Then we share with each and every one that they need some help at first to get out of those damned up emotions, then try Jesus as they go through it all but they refuse all things and out the door they go. Then the next one apprears and it never has stopped here in our home. We keep sharing the word with them one after another.We too, live on a fixed income that don't help any at all except for the medical. food is very low here at our home, we go to the food pantries, and often times to one family member to have them give us a meal or two. But then we help people out in a church when I can help in sacking up food in bags, and clothing pantries as well. That's how our life is for us as we depend on our heavenly Father And He alway's takes care of us,He's shown us both different kinds of way that only Him can do in taking care of us, we've seen how the Lord bring us money to pay these bills, and car, and food unto us and protects us through these storms that comes through out town. I can never say enough about our Jesus! At least not so much in words as it is in tounges is where it's between he and I only. We truly trust Him[Jesus Christ & the Trinity] in every kind of conditions,situations, trials that comes our way in being in him.I'll lways grow as in time and seasons just like many of You but the potter hs His wheel as He is going forth in every side that brings up such strong reasons to produce all of my causes, issues,that comes before Himself to represents me in all of my ways as an intercessor for the release to come forth in His own "power & authority in taking me unto His own character daily in being in obedience unto Jesus Christ that continues to draw me until He comes for everyone at a moments notice. The idols are gone and all is left is JESUS today.That my sisters & brothers is the way it is here. I know I didn't mentioned alot of other things but in general You get the message, others that know me daily know all of those missing parts of my life. i_a,godschild would like to Thank You for allow in this site,group sites, web sites and other prayer sites as well in holding one another up for prayer's being totally united in everyone around this world, it's about Jesus Christ first and prayers,intecessory prayer's and at other times about this vast world we live in today which this old world as we all know it is slowly departing to be reaching our home in glory and Not missing love ever again and may I alway's growing unto my precious Jesus Christ for He's my lawyer, judge unto this world ends. I will alway's praying and sharing with him in my own heart for everyone in my life No matter where each of You are in this world that God has made as His people whom stands firm and true without a spot or a wringkle in heading to that one final place called: A New Jerusalem" Prayer: Father, I loose any stronghold in my life protecting wrong feelings I have against anyone. Forgive me as I forgive those who have caused me pain, loss or grief. I loose any desire for retribution or to rectify. In the name of Jesus, I loose the power and effects of any harsh or hard words (word curses) spoken about me, to me or by me. I loose any strongholds connected with them. I loose all generational bondages and their stronghold from myself. I thank you Jesus that you have promised whatsoever I bind and loose on earth will be bound and loosed in heaven. In Jesus name, I loose the grave clothes from my soul. I loose any generational bondage from my soul. I loose any opposition and resistance from my soul and I loose any hidden agendas from my soul. I loose, shatter, and destroy the layer of self-control and self-defense, that I have allowed my soul to put down over my unmet needs, my unhealed hurts, and my unresolved issues. Father, some of them have been there for so long, and I have believed they would never be fixed. Forgive me, Father, for believing this, help me to work with You to loose layer after layer myself, so that these layers of vulnerability can be exposed to Your healing grace.I loose the grave clothes from my soul. I loose any generational bondage from my soul. I loose any opposition and resistance from my soul and I loose any hidden agendas from my soul. I loose, shatter, and destroy the layer of self-control and self-defense, that I have allowed my soul to put down over my unmet needs, my unhealed hurts, and my unresolved issues. Father, some of them have been there for so long, and I have believed they would never be fixed. Forgive me, Father, for believing this, help me to work with You to loose layer after layer myself, so that these layers of vulnerability can be exposed to Your healing grace. Thank You for reading this and may You be blessed alway's and forever. Amen. i_amgodschild. . Thank You for reading this and may You be blessed alway's and forever. Amen. i_amgodschild. .