My Testimony
Hello Everyone; I thought that I would give this testimony of how things had taken place in my very own life. Some of things has been left out of it. Some of these things You could read between the Lines and to know it in your own heart just as if You had been there taking it all in as one would often time do in these simliar things hurts, habits, and all of those hang - ups as a next person that had gone through it as well themselves.I had often times felt that I had already gone onto as people often times say to whom ever living as if we had already have been in world world 3. I'm only saying this because of me growing as a very small baby I had a Foster Mother in whom I loved so very much for such as I was literally told by her momma from an infant that she wasn't my true Mother that I had a real mother with many siblings living with her and I'd had better get used to it in my life and as in some people very much they had done all the things that any ones own parent could do for them from infancy until almost an adolecent. From the time that I was an only child never did I realize what those truths were until my parents had told Me that I am a foster child that they loved so dearly but they didn't like the way that My real Mother was rasing me and she had kept Me to raised in her undivided "Love" beside being raised where she had loving manner with shown Me just where Her Accountability mattered in her home. Now in my "Real Mother's " home it was so much of a vast differences in her home, and having bad motives and none action that wasn't alot of "Inconsistencies" had gotton Me to where violence and wreckless parents within the family unit and couldn't be myself in that inviroment that for sure was very unstable for my own personal growth. I had thought that those was my parent until one day some cold hard fact and truths came creaping out of my momma. She was stern and I knew what she meant and what she said was gospel.But she loved me just the same for being my foster momma to me. I watched her go through so many trials and heartache in her life and she cried and had been hurt by a husband whom had left us to be with another woman and her already made family. My momma did all those things that a parent could and wanted to do as a mother. She worked and I went to school like any other young child. Of course I acted up badly when I had lived with my precious momma, but I was sort of a mean kid whom had done alot of things that I ought not and should not have done. But the one or perhaps many things about her just made me feel like it was always home to me even til the day she passed away. (Years earlier). She loved me and showed me how to do things in a home, like most momma's do she gave me spankings but it wasn't nothing like my real mother would do. They were so very different as day is to night. My thoughts just never left my momma. You know being with the very brutal side of my real parent will never be forgotton because in the home it was world war 3. It was horrible that at times It just speaks to all of those horable things that had happened to me while living in that place of such high frequencies of motives and in - actions that only a person like me had gone through in a persons own life, of the horrors that went in that place. I later in years found out the real reasons all of those mean actions of the way she was to me and ways she had done alot of things which makes a person like I was so bitterly confused, beaten, raped, and almost killed not only by my real mother but her husband too. I'll never forget what it done to my own soul is like living in hell with fire torching me all of the time, day and night was never a miss.Bu they cursed at me telling me that I was No good and I wasn't going to amount to anything and more cursing came at me like it rolled like a thunder storm in every breath they had taken and couldn't even ask why,I couldn't share my thoughts with them because sure enough I would get it again. They had their parties that lasted into the wee hours in the mornings every weekend with things in the home got broken simly because it would be broken up , fighting, cursing at each other, the windows of the car got broken by a brick being thrown from mother's hand because of those things he had done to her. I knew that I was in hot water again, just because she would run off from being mad at him. I hated those times because I knew what I was in for every time that would happen. Some of my own family member was just like him and did those simliar thing to me.Only 2 of my siblings made so many efforts for me to live with them but to No avil. Everytime I'd get something nice for those holidays it would get ripped into pieces while the other kids got to keep what they had. After a while I really didn't care about anything anymore! They taught me to be just like them and I lost myself ! I just didn't know me anymore.Her hubby used to call me out to his garage filled his brown "Dr. Peppers" glass with his favorite pop as I watched him pour his drink mixed with alcohol, i'm not going to say anything more about that horrible person in that kind of manner. A few of his own family members was just the same. Some of them as well did thing's in like manner for they are sibling that was older than I . I got so tired of those things and after awhile I was like being under a very heavy doeses of anesthesia that I never came out of from being in that place. Everything I had been taught was lost to never return in such a very ugly inside of myself had been ripped apart destroying anything of which I had known about me was gone and I ws No longer there! I left that place and right out in the streets and never looked back at that place again for many of years.I was someone like in Germany that has shared with me simliar virtures that had taken on in my own life from the very start of my street worth had been like in what my husband has shared with me about those brothels that's lined up for many a blocks. It's all I knew how to do and run with the seedy people whom was just like me and thugs,mobsters, thieves. I got caught up with people that most people didn't want to cross over if they wanted to stay alive for the most part, or if they owed a favor yet in turn it wasn't good either.Well drugs, alcohol, kept me up and down for most of those years. I had so many problems that it never gave me a clue. Emotions was high going from one place to another even with scooter people whom I'd hung out at all of those places. For the most part they helped me along my years, then I'd back away and find me another crowd to hang out with, it didn't matter how rich you might of been at the end of those nights I was a shallow of a person whom was there for a time at your expense. Oh, I've have had relationships and marriages even children came out of some. I never thought I'd stop in living like the way I was. It never entered my mind at all, nor would anyone would bring up in helping "self" to see something different in how to stop and detour my life.Oh at times I went back and had seen my momma and she always loved me just like it never ever stopped. I hid alot of things from her that never enterered in our conversations simply I didn't want her to know and thought that she would tell me to leave and never come back to her home again so I kept quiet about it at those times I had been visiting Mom,except to be a good girl.I had lost one child in what had happend in the way I lived my life and some of them from the x's and people whom had tons of money whom ruled the world with an iron fists and towns of which we lived. I couldn't fight it and I lost something that was so precious to me. It had me even tighter and I never knew what to do. But stick my thumb out and hit the trails onward I went back to the home town of which I was born and as it had taken a while while I had been on the road which was full of dangers into the next day . Some of the time that it was fun but today looking back it was the darkest days in my own life. All of those dark nights that was lit from 24 hours lasted more than hours but weeks at a time. I never never ever said that he ever was a person of a father figure to me but as a sperm donor for my mother[Real] is all he had been to me but my real mother life whom loved him and of course had more children between them. So that pretty much how it was back then for me. Until one night and being seperated once again, I had went to someones home and relaxed like I always did with people I knew very well. That night was just a peek of what terrible things that had taken place in my world. And this what some people likes to do to "young ladies or women"I was literally thrown into a car and they had taken me to an abandon house and beat the daylights out of me and raped me and tried to kill me that horrible night that lasted till early morning.For some reason I said a get me out of here prayers, I then saw something liked I'd never ever seen before in my entire life and I've never forgot it till this day. It was a figure liked I've never seen before but the funny part about it it was missing a face while it was there! Oh it white and hands like a real person has on one glossy set of hands and you could see right through it. And a golden crown . Now, that amazed me like never before! Then I saw this figure waving those hands to come this way but it stumped me because I didn't know where those men were in the house. I looked around to see where they were in that place. I wiped away the blood on my face so I could see some what better. As I looked again that person or thing was still waving at me to come unto them. I was frightened and didn't know what to expect! So I just got off that floor and headed out the window and that things or person that I had seen just felt like it guided me to where safety and as they led me then what I then seen was a huge drop to hit the ground. As I did my ankel twisted and I somehow got back straight and ran until I found some help in a apt. building and ran inside. I knocked on door and a another man came to the door and I at once covered myself up and passed out on the floor. Just as You already know where I woke up at and to see just the very fact I was ALIVE! I had lost the court case and to my suprise from what I had found out they did it again to someone much younger than me. That was 2 weeks later after the courts. I went into treatment and left that town simply because my hubby didn't like the fact that I been done by the other race. Man I was so bitterly angry at men so I had turn into a homosexual for a time and when I was in my stupor while drinking I had come to realize what the heck I was doing in a relationship with this woman and I went through tons of help back then and under a shrink for so many years, It was hard but I kept it up after it so I could do what was told to me so I could get better. I went through secular programs and I did so much better and even had a child come back to me, then another one which was a suprise. Even tried to always make things work and had all of those emotions sticking out so very badly. It got so bad that my old self came back to me and I literally stabbed someone . Oh, it finally hit me after one of my very heavy drunks that I really needed some help . I went cold turkey and got off those meds that nearly killed me during that time. Later I moved to another place and tried to do things a little differently. I had my scooter buddies that I had met but this time they we not like those in times past. They began to share me about a man called Jesus in which I had only heard about as a child and never believed! But they shared with me that whole weekend and I found a pastor in that town and began searching for more answers to all of my un - answered questions that they had helped me with in my life. They had a quaint little place which was half restaurant, and church. But I got saved in August 18, 1997. I had met someone and then married him as he had other people round him that I didn't know very well and he had this person move in with us and quite frankly really didn't want him there but between the two to my much suprise another person around whom had made drugs and was selling them I had found about when I saw neddles laying around in different places and I left at the pastors request and on my way out of town he nearly ran me over with his semi-truck in that pouring rain storm but than God and I made it to where I was going. I found my self heading to a hospital early the next morning at my best friends advice. She went to school and if I hadn't been home she knew where to come find me. As it turned out I had died and came back and I knew it was the Lord, My savior whom brought me back. There's more to this story that just blows my mind to this day simply because of that happeneing to me this very day. Oh, Yes I had to re-learn everything over again, just as if I was a very sm. child. I had some long talks with the Lord and cried many tears unto Him only to see for my self that those where trials from Him to see if I ment it or wanted to turn back to the old me.But I didn't thank You Jesus! I kept hanging on like i've never ever did in my life. Some of those people were not nice people at all, they was crude and very abnoxious in all those hateful words and cussing at me, walking all over me just as if I hadn't been standing still. But my precious Jesus and I kept praying and communicating with one another and I went to church and they helped me too. But the cold hard facts is Jesus Christ whom got me through it until this very day. I had sugery this year on memorial day weekend over the stuff that happened to me back then. But You know what ? He always told me that he would never ever forskake me.I know and truly believe it with all my heart today.He is still helping me to learn all the more about Him ... I'm so very thankful unto my precious Jesus for showing me His ways for me to live in and all my cares goes unto Him today.Every time I go though His fires of His many test. One more time he molding me more unto Him to be just as he in the likeness in doing my best in leaving more of me in this old very horrible nasty old world.I left my sins where it all needs to be in His glorious righteousness and it is where it absolutley stays for me and being in the one whom is the almighty God. Now I'm doing my best in Him in leaving old teaching of those religious people behind in still having our close relationship in Him together as I want it more and more in my life forever more til he takes us home to be in that new Jerusalem. I just don't like be a person in what God calls a "stiff necked person" which is incorruptable in front of him. I know that he's destroyed alot of the old me.I know that I still get mixed up at times but He's helping me through it all! Today I get tired so easily and have to rest when my body tells me too My mind often times acts like the "lost child". But that's ok because when I get up... I am with Jesus and helping others the best that I can, My husband and I have opened our home to people whom are in this world today. But after they get through asking questions about our faith, they stop right in those tracks and try to not do what they themselves need to do and try to much and be like the devil himself ! Then we share with each and every one that they need some help at first to get out of those damned up emotions, then try Jesus as they go through it all but they refuse all things and out the door they go. Then the next one apprears and it never has stopped here in our home. We keep sharing the word with them one after another.We too, live on a fixed income that don't help any at all except for the medical. food is very low here at our home, we go to the food pantries, and often times to one family member to have them give us a meal or two. But then we help people out in a church when I can help in sacking up food in bags, and clothing pantries as well. That's how our life is for us as we depend on our heavenly Father And He alway's takes care of us,He's shown us both different kinds of ways that only Him can do in taking care of us, we've seen how the Lord bring us money to pay these bills, and car, and food unto us and protects us through these storms that comes through out town. I can never say enough about our Jesus! At least not so much in words to Him Jesus Christ whom I love very deeply inside of myself and is my King, my Lover , whom rules and judges me when it comes to my own final curtain call for me to Bow down at His feet awaiting my own judgement just as everyone else in this earth it is where it's between he and I only. We truly trust Him[Jesus Christ & the Trinity] in every kind of conditions,situations, trials that comes our way in being in him.I'll lways grow as in time and seasons just like many of You but the potter's wheel as He is going forth in every side that brings up such strong reasons to produce all of my causes, issues,that comes before Himself to represents me in all of my ways as an intercessor for the release to come forth in His own "power & authority in taking me unto His own character daily in being in obedience unto Jesus Christ that continues to draw me until He comes for everyone at a moments notice. The idols are gone and all is left is JESUS today.That my sisters & brothers is the way it is here. I know I didn't mentioned alot of other things but in general You get the message, others that whom truly knows me daily know all of those missing parts of my life. i_a,godschild would like to Thank You for allow in this site,group sites, web sites and other prayer sites as well in holding one another up for prayer's being totally united in everyone around this world, it's about Jesus Christ first and prayers,intecessory prayer's and at other times about this vast world we live in today which this old world as we all know it is slowly departing to be reaching our home in glory and Not missing love ever again and may I alway's growing unto my precious Jesus Christ for He's my lawyer, judge unto this world ends. I will alway's praying and sharing with him in my own heart for everyone in my lif No matter where each of You are in this world that God has made as His people whom stands firm and true without a spot or a wringkle in heading to that one final place called: A New Jerusalem" The Prayer that I had used to bring me out of which I had been in for so very long in my own personal life and may it help anyone whom is out in this world that has come of those simliar things as I had done. Hello Everyone; I thought that I would give this testimony of how things had taken place in my very own life. Some of things has been left out of it. Some of these things You could read between the Lines and to know it in your own heart just as if You had been there taking it all in as one would often time do in these simliar things hurts, habits, and all of those hang - ups as a next person that had gone through it as well themselves.I had often times felt that I had already gone onto as people often times say to whom ever living as if we had already have been in world world 3. I'm only saying this because of me growing as a very small baby I had loved so very much for such as Iand as in some people very much they had done all the things that any ones own parent could do for them from infantcy until almost an adolecent. From the time that I was an only child never did I realize what those truths were until my parents had told Me that I am a foster child that they loved so dearly but they didn't like the way that My real Mother was rasing me and she had kept Me to raised in her undivided "Love" beside being raised where she had loving manner with shown Me just where Her Accountability mattered in her homeand not having bad motives and none action that wasn't been alot of "Inconsistencies" had gotton Me to where violence and wreckless parents within the family unit and couldn't be myself in that inviroment is unstable for your growth. I had thought that those was my parent until one day some cold hard fact and truths came creaping out of my momma. She was stern and i knew what she meant and what she said was gospel.But she loved me just the same for being a foster momma to me. I watched her go through so many trials and heartache in her life and she cried and had been hurt by a husband whom had left us to be with another woman and her already made family. My momma did all those things that a parent could and wanted to do as a mother. She worked and I went to school like any other young child. Of course I acted up badly when I had lived with my precious momma, but I was sort of a mean kid whom had done alot of things that I ought not and should not have done. But the one or perhaps many things about her just made me feel like it was always home to me even til the day she passed away. (Years later). She loved me and showed me how to do things in a home, like most momma's do she gave me spankings but it wasn't nothing like my real mother would do. They were so very different as day is to night. My thoughts just never left my momma. You know being with the very brutal side of my real parent will never be forgotton because in the home it was world war 3.It was horrible that at times I just speak of the horrors that went in that place.I later in years found out the real reasons all of those means and ways she had done alot of things which makes a person like I was so bitterly confused, beaten, raped, and almost killed not only by my real mother but her husband too. I'll never forget what it done to my own soul is like living in hell with fire torching me all of the time, day and night was never a miss.They had thier parties that lasted into the wee hours in the mornings every weekend I knew i was in hot water again, just because she would run off from being mad at him. I hated those times because I knew what I was in for every time that would happen.Some of my own family member was just like him and did those simliar thing to me.Only 2 of my siblings made so many efforts for me to live with them but to No avil.Everytime I'd get something nice for those holidays it would get ripped into pieces while the other kids got to keep what they had.After a while I really didn't care about anything anymore! They taught me to be just like them and I lost myself ! I just didn't know me anymore.Her hubby used to call me out to his garage filled with his favorite pop as I watched him pour his drink mixed with alcohol, i'm not going to say anything more about that horrible person in that kind of manner. A few of his own family members was just the same.Some of them as well did thing's in like manner for they are sibling that was older than I . I got so tired of those things and after awhile I was like being under a very heavy doeses of anesthesia that I never came out of from being in that place. Everything I had been taught was lost to never return in such a very ugly inside of myself had been ripped apart destroying anything of which I had known about me was gone and I No longer there! I left that place and right out in the streets and never looked back at that place again for many of years.I was someone like in Germanythat has shared with me simliar virtures that had taken on in my own life from the very start of my street worth had been likein what my husband has shared with me about those brothels that's lined up for many a blocks. It's all I knew how to do and run with the seedy people whom was just like me and thugs,mobsters. I got caught up with people that most people didn't want to cross over if they wanted to stay alive for the most part, or if they owed a favor yet in turn it wasn't good either.Well drugs, alcohol, kept me up and down for most of those years. I had so many problems that it never gave me a clue. Emotions was high going from one place to another even with scooter people whom hung out at all of those places. For the most part they helped me along my years, then I'd back away and find me another crowd to hang out with, it didn't matter how rich you might of been at the end of those nights I was a shallow of a person whom was there for a time at your expense. Oh, I've have had relationships and marriages even children came out of some. I never thought I'd stop in living like the way I was. It never entered my mind at all, nor would anyone would bring up in helping "self" to see something different in how to stop and detour my life.Oh at times I went back and had seen my momma and she always loved me just like it never ever stopped. I hid alot of things from her that never enterered in our conversations simply I didn't want her to know and thought that she would tell me to leave and never come back to her home again so I kept quiet about it at those times I had been visiting Mom,except to be a good girl.I had lost one child in what had happend in the way I lived my life and some of them from the x's and people whom had tons of money whom ruled the world with an iron fists and towns of which we lived. I couldn't fight it and I lost something that was so precious to me. It had me even tighter and I never knew what to do. But stick my thumb out and hit the trails onward I went back to the home town of which I was born and as it had taken a while while I had been on the road which was full of dangers into the next day . Some aof the time that it was fun but today looking back it was the darkes dayst in my own life. All of those dark nights that was lit from 24 hours lasted more than hours but weeks at a time. I never never ever said that he ever was a person of a father figure tp me but as a sperm donor is all he had been to me but my real mother life whom loved him and of course had more children between them. So that pretty much how it was back then for me. Until one night and being seperated once again, I had went to someone home and relaxed like I always did with people I knew very well. That night was just a peek of what terrible things that had taken place in my world. And this what some people likes to do to "young ladies or women"I was literally thrown into a car and they had taken me to an abandon house and beat the daylights out of me and raped me and tried to kill me that horrible night that lasted till early morning.For some reason I said a get me out of here prayers, I then saw something liked I'd never ever seen before in my entire life and I've never forgot it till this day. It was a figure liked I've never seen before but the funny part about it it was missing a face while it was there! Oh it white and hands like a real person has on one glossy set of hands and you could see right through it. And a golden crown . Now, that amazed me like never before! Then I saw this figure waving those hands to come this way but it stumped me because I didn't know where those men were in the house. I looked around to see where they were in that place. I wiped away the blood on my face so I could see some what better. As I looked again that person or thing was still waving at me to come unto them. I was frightened and didn't know what to expect! So I just got off that floor and headed out the window and that things or person that I had seen just felt like it guided me to where safety and as they led me then what I then seen was a huge drop to hit the ground. As I did my ankel twisted and I somehow got back straight and ran until I found some helpin a apt. building and ran inside. I knocked on door and a another man came to the door and I at once covered myself up and passed out on the floor. Just as You already know where I woke up at and to see just the very fact I was ALIVE! I had lost the court case and to my suprise from what I had found out they did it again to someone much younger than me. That was 2 weeks later after the courts. I went into treatment and left that town simply because my hubby didn't like the fact that I been done by the other race. I went through tons of help back then and under a shrink for so many years, It was hard but I kept after it so I could do what was told to me so I could get better. I went through secular programs and I did so much better and even had a child come back to me, then another one which was a suprise. Even tried to always make things work and had all of those emotions sticking out so very badly. It got so bad that my old self came back to me and I literally stabbed someone . Oh, it finally hit me after one of my very heavy drunks that I really needed some help . I went cold turkey and got off those meds that nearly killed me during that time. Later I moved to another place and tried to do things a little differently. I had my scooter buddies that I had met but this time they we not like those in times past. They began to share me about a man called Jesus in which I had only heard about as a child and never believed! But they shared with me that whole weekend and I found a pastor in that town and began searching for more. They had a quaint little place which was half resturant, and church. But I got saved that year of 1997. I had met someone and then married him as he had other people round him that I didn't know very well and he had this person move in with us and quite frankly really didn't want him there but between the two to my much suprise another person around whom had made drugs and was selling themI had found about when I saw Neddles laying around in different places and I left at the pastors request and on my way out of town he nearly ran me over with his semi-truck in that pouring rain storm but than God I made it to where I was going. I found my self heading to a hospital early the next morning at my best friends advice. She went to school and if I hadn't been home she knew where to come find me. As it turned out I had died and came back and I knew it was the Lord, My savior whom brought me back. There's more to this story that just blows my mind to this day simply because of that happeneing to me this very day. Oh, Yes I had to re-learn everything over again, just as if I was a very sm. child. I had some long talks with the Lord and cried many tears unto Him only to see for my self that those where trials from Him to see if I ment it or wanted to turn back to the old me.But I didn't thank You Jesus! I kept hanging on like i've never ever did in my life. Some of those people were not nice people at all, they was crude and very abnoxious in all those hateful words and cussing at me, walking all over me just as if I hadn't been standing still.But my precious Jesus and I kept praying and communicating with one another and I went to church and they helped me too. But the cold hard facts is Jesus Christ whom got me through it until this very day. I had sugery this year on memorial day weekend over the stuff that happened to me back then. But You know what ? He always told me that he would never ever forskake me.I know and truly believe it with all my heart today.He is still helping me to learn all the more about Him ... I'm so very thankful unto my precious Jesus for showing me His ways for me to live in and all my cares goes unto Him today.Every time I go though His fires of His many test. One more time he molding me more unto Him to be just as he in the likeness in doing my best in leaving more of me in this old very horrible nasty old world.I left my sins where it all needs to be in His glorious righteousness and it is where it absolutley stays for me and being in the one whom is the almighty God. Now I'm doing my best in Him in leaving old teaching of those religious people behind in still having our close relationship in Him together as I want it more and more in my life forever more til he takes us home to be in that new Jerusalem. I just don't like still be a person in what God calls a "stiff necked person" which is incorruptable in front of him. I know that he's destroyed alot of the old me.I know that I still get mixed up at times but He's helping me through it all! Today I get tired so easily and have to rest when my body tells me too My mind often times acts like the "lost child". But that's ok because when I get up... I am with Jesus and helping others the best that I can, My husband and I have opened our home to people whom are in this world today. But after they get through asking questions about our faith, they stop right in those tracks and try to not do what they themselves need to do and try to much and be like the devil himself ! Then we share with each and every one that they need some help at first to get out of those damned up emotions, then try Jesus as they go through it all but they refuse all things and out the door they go. Then the next one apprears and it never has stopped here in our home. We keep sharing the word with them one after another.We too, live on a fixed income that don't help any at all except for the medical. food is very low here at our home, we go to the food pantries, and often times to one family member to have them give us a meal or two. But then we help people out in a church when I can help in sacking up food in bags, and clothing pantries as well. That's how our life is for us as we depend on our heavenly Father And He alway's takes care of us,He's shown us both different kinds of way that only Him can do in taking care of us, we've seen how the Lord bring us money to pay these bills, and car, and food unto us and protects us through these storms that comes through out town. I can never say enough about our Jesus! At least not so much in words as it is in tounges is where it's between he and I only. We truly trust Him[Jesus Christ & the Trinity] in every kind of conditions,situations, trials that comes our way in being in him.I'll lways grow as in time and seasons just like many of You but the potter hs His wheel as He is going forth in every side that brings up such strong reasons to produce all of my causes, issues,that comes before Himself to represents me in all of my ways as an intercessor for the release to come forth in His own "power & authority in taking me unto His own character daily in being in obedience unto Jesus Christ that continues to draw me until He comes for everyone at a moments notice. The idols are gone and all is left is JESUS today.That my sisters & brothers is the way it is here. I know I didn't mentioned alot of other things but in general You get the message, others that know me daily know all of those missing parts of my life. i_a,godschild would like to Thank You for allow in this site,group sites, web sites and other prayer sites as well in holding one another up for prayer's being totally united in everyone around this world, it's about Jesus Christ first and prayers,intecessory prayer's and at other times about this vast world we live in today which this old world as we all know it is slowly departing to be reaching our home in glory and Not missing love ever again and may I alway's growing unto my precious Jesus Christ for He's my lawyer, judge unto this world ends. I will alway's praying and sharing with him in my own heart for everyone in my life No matter where each of You are in this world that God has made as His people whom stands firm and true without a spot or a wringkle in heading to that one final place called: A New Jerusalem" Prayer: Father, I loose any stronghold in my life protecting wrong feelings I have against anyone. Forgive me as I forgive those who have caused me pain, loss or grief. I loose any desire for retribution or to rectify. In the name of Jesus, I loose the power and effects of any harsh or hard words (word curses) spoken about me, to me or by me. I loose any strongholds connected with them. I loose all generational bondages and their stronghold from myself. I thank you Jesus that you have promised whatsoever I bind and loose on earth will be bound and loosed in heaven. In Jesus name, I loose the grave clothes from my soul. I loose any generational bondage from my soul. I loose any opposition and resistance from my soul and I loose any hidden agendas from my soul. I loose, shatter, and destroy the layer of self-control and self-defense, that I have allowed my soul to put down over my unmet needs, my unhealed hurts, and my unresolved issues. Father, some of them have been there for so long, and I have believed they would never be fixed. Forgive me, Father, for believing this, help me to work with You to loose layer after layer myself, so that these layers of vulnerability can be exposed to Your healing grace.I loose the grave clothes from my soul. I loose any generational bondage from my soul. I loose any opposition and resistance from my soul and I loose any hidden agendas from my soul. I loose, shatter, and destroy the layer of self-control and self-defense, that I have allowed my soul to put down over my unmet needs, my unhealed hurts, and my unresolved issues. Father, some of them have been there for so long, and I have believed they would never be fixed. Forgive me, Father, for believing this, help me to work with You to loose layer after layer myself, so that these layers of vulnerability can be exposed to Your healing grace. Thank You for reading this and may You be blessed alway's and forever. Amen. i_amgodschild. . Thank You for reading this and may You be blessed alway's and forever. Amen. i_amgodschild. .
In my own Christmas past there had been going and buying for people in our family sharing with other the true meaning of christmas with the sounds of christmas carols in the background of the holiday season with christmas music surrounding our home with snow on the ground made it especially blessed for there was farmers whom needed the moisture for the year coming up to get all that needs to be done on a daily basis for we shared with the whole entire family in what we would be doing in a couple of days, prior to heading down to all of the shelter we had fixed up food boxes with tons of presents for all of the families to be put under there christmas trees for each of them to have something to open that day.There had been so many people with them talking about christmas with being in wonderment of what will be happening as those doors was closed and about to open for each of them that had being on those lists with every name that has signed up and what they wanted for christmas even the elderly had a request in what they needed, it might sounded insignificant to us whom worked and had given to place to help the needy of our cities or towns across the nation. But seeing it as Jesus Christ would have us do just sounded it was the thing to do at that time by several of us spending time over night at some shelters,we had a couple of nights in preparing for all of those families. Heading down to the homeless shelters and bike rides in having others to give to those countless of people as well places in serving tons of love and warm wishes to be handed to the people in whom a from a bunch of us from church as we got the banquet hall cooking and preparing all that was going to be passed out to them. All the adults with each children surrounding each other waiting to be feed. We had santa claus waiting to speak to the children in which they all had a pictures taken while they were there but most of all by a local pastors speaking to them just what christmas was truly all about in what it really means in this time of year. It was amazing to see those faces as the Christmas Season is all about and they started singing carols all over that place with tears in all of our eyes with Joy of Jesus Christ Birth. As the Birth was fortold by the prophet in this sermon, [Isa.11:1-9] Spoken of a child that should be born, a son that should be given, on whose shoulders the government should be, intending this for the comfort of the people of God in times of trouble, as dying Jacob, many ages before, had intended the prospect of Shiloh for the comfort of his seed in their affliction in Egypt[Isa.4:2]. 
