Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Walking in Faith Instead of Discouragment


Hello Everyone I'm sending this out to You as I know that I've been having a very hard time Worshiping Jesus and coming close unto Him lately from us dealing with Cancer and going through Chemo Therapy along side of Charlie as I watch him going through this right now in His life as he cries I cry right along with him being right by his side, He's been such a gift from Jesus Christ that often times I don't have enough words in expressing unto the Lord but through intercession it goes right up to the thone of grace in whom I know whom hears everything that we both plead unto Him as our risen Savior. here is some of the scriptures that I know to help me with in this journaty unto the Lord: We will know joy (Matt.25:21), Let us put our trust (Ps.5:14), Joy is God's gift (Rom. 14:17), May I be filled (Rom.15:13), Fruit of the Spirit ( Gal. 5:22), Restore My Joy (Ps.51:12,13),For your are our Glory (1 Thess. 2:19,20), Afflictions with Joy (1 Thess. 1:6), My Joy is in God (Rom. 5:11), Count it all joy (Jas. 1:2), He's able to keep Me from falling ( Jude 24-25), Offer sacrifice of Joy (Ps.27:6). For God comforts me during this time especially when I quite come unto Him in this hour of need with discouragment and in being distressed while going through our situation but He heard our pleas and he helped me when I needed it most he's putting it back together in our life (Ps.77) as we both endures this season. I & Charlie would rather believe Jesus Christ words than man's word in having faith be seure in His firm foundation. We know the other voice lies, stels, cheats, kills for it goes back to it's sender as Jesus holds us both and carries us, ans sees us though in having victory in Him.

Journal Notes: I 've been having a very hard time precious Jesus and it's only you to depend on in my own personal walk in you as your child. Oh, Father, It's been so hurtful to see this going on in both of our lives as your son charlie is going through chemo right now to see him hurting and in pain and with all of his insides that are not doing to well right now. Father, when he cries I cry right along with him as we both look to you for more strength and faith as this is going on with endurance to gain mobility to move forward as we both run unto your everlasting arms right now. As you know the situation and circumstnace we face in our life as untied as one in living with his sibling and spouse in dealing with what we see and hear isn't of you at all, they live and breathe the worldly systems of them not being saved and living with every single dot n titdle of truthsand for her hubby watching porn daily and working in that bar life isn't a picnic either. I lift them up with their child and family to be saved and to turn their life around so they all can be in heaven along with our own grown children and the grandchildren ,plus their mates too. This is a burden and I know it will be granted and they will be a true servant unto you. As our bills mounted totally against us as we pay by such little funds they are getting paid and I surely know it will be done with as you give us discernments in all of these things we ask of you about today. In getting them all down to where is No more of them by you guiding us through it. Personally Father I feel like I'm lacking in praise right now but my own heart is thankful for what you are doing with us as waiting is so hard to do in our life. I've looked up scriptures in building myself up but I have to say it, sing it,in silence around this home on a day to day basis. But you hear our pleas as we alway's look unto you in this minute by minute as our moments goes by being in you .Father we do pray the warfare prayers in keeping Your very precious blood upon us so those attacks can stay far away from us. It's often times so hard to attain your blessed holy sword in my own life at times especially when the chips are down and I feel like I'l smoldering in a very hot pot with way to many trials and in the bed of afflictions in and around both of our life. Now, that charlie is in bed of sickness at times I have a very hard time in seeing your truths in taking another road to hold onto to for the both of us so he can see your hope and daring to fight it one more day in being with you.That's when life has totally broken down on that awful road for us to take and then here it comes like a mighty roaring river that floods us out and we are so desperately fighting to hold on to your life persever for if we don't death comes knocking on that horrible door. That's when I cry even more in our prayers unto you when all sems lost in that very dark world and the smog has risen in with such a sound in our ears that I know that it isn't of You at all whom is loudly trying to make it's way in it but to their suprise it shuts with a clang so hard that they run away with thier loud screams for they know whom is keeping them back away from us today.I do give it all unto you jesus as my father in whom has saved us and washed us in your very precious blood on calvery and has baptised us with your saving grace that pulls us up from that brink of death of hell. For we sit and want to bask in your heavly presence that fills our lives as we go through it today.I have to admit those times are not just so easy ! But we need it the most we can feel you carry us both through with your arms as you hold us to very tightly right now. We Thank You ever so much Jesus ! For You Jesus shut up hell for us and literally closes those mouths in all attacks that comes against us in warfare prayers for we truly know that all thy represents for everyone whom is your servants and prayer partners in holding hell back away from us, for they are so cold, clammy, and full of lies, sneaky, which they steal, lie, and has nothing but a killer instincts that wants us all to be in total damnation but they get that sword of your Holy Spir t thrown back against them for which they run so fast that it burns them back to being demolished, and totally crushed and they squeek as they been cast to where they had come in the first place that's you Jesus being whom you are in us as your children whom serves you as our risen savior. So you slammed those crooked door on all of places for them to leave us alone thank you precious Jesus and we lift your mighty name on high for all you've done before us each and every day when we come unto your presence.Praying: Father, as you already know all of this before I had set it down on paper. I want you to bless every single solitary persons whom is keeping us in their prayers no matter what time of the day or night it happens to be and provide them with your might provisions as well. so I close this out unto You I ask for prayer for Pastor Mike Gonzales for his father as they just found out that he .has lukemia and I pray for his healing to take place in his life for Pete Gonzales we do acknowledge the whole armor of God. I pray that every thought that satan or any of his kingdom tries to put in my mind will bounce off the helmet of salvation and return to the sender. Heal every memory that could hold me back from being all that You want me to be. I recognize that I have on the breastplate of righteousness, my loins are girded with the truth and my feet are shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace. I take up the sword of the spirit and the shield of faith I reverse the curse and send it back to the demon that brought it in the first place, AND I COMMAND THAT DEMON TO GO BOUND INTO UNINHABITED DRY PLACES IN THE NAME OF JESUS. I break every ungodly emotional soul tie that is connected to any of us, in the Name of Jesus.
In the Name of Jesus and through His living blood, I bind and sever every cord of any prince or principality, any strong man and every spirit of darkness over my house . I put a Jesus Christ bloodline in between each one of you and I cut off your communications, confuse your camp, render you inactive, and cast you out, in Jesus’ Name.

I bind and cast out every spirit of poverty, lack, confusion, cloudiness, mind binding, selfishness, anxiety, and procrastination. I bind and cast out every spirit of fear, heaviness, jealousy, bondage, whoredom, lying, perversion, slumber and infirmity. I plead the blood of Jesus around the property line, above the roof, and below the foundation of my home, and doors of our bedroom and I bind you, satan, and your entire kingdom from crossing the bloodline. I command you for myself and the people I have just referred to, that you can have nothing to do with us or any aspect of our lives in any way, shape or form! I now call on God’s warring angels to make it happen.

In the Name of Jesus, I loose myself and each family member to the power of the Holy Spirit and I speak forth blessings of prosperity, clarity, wisdom, understanding, knowledge, discernment, abundance, and good health. I also speak creativity and a sound mind. I take control of my mind and reflect every evil thought and receive every good thought, in the Name of Jesus. I loose myself and my children to the ministry of the Holy Spirit and speak love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance into our lives.

Satan, I take authority and command you and all your evil spirits to loose our family household and all the things you have stolen from us, including our property, income and investments, and return it onehundred-fold, in Jesus’ Name.

I ask you, Father, that You send Your warring angels and cause to come into our family all the monies, treasures, properties, assets and things satan has stolen from us that have been ours through the blessings of Jesus Christ.

In the Name of Jesus, I take authority and bind every principality and strong man over us . I come against and cast out every spirit of fear, mismanagement, poverty, confusion, lack, failure and bankruptcy. In the Name of Jesus and through the power of the Holy Spirit, I loose sound management, prosperity, clarity, wisdom, knowledge, blessings, profit, honesty, success, and favor from any businesses & associates that are dealing with. Father, I ask You, in the Name of Jesus, that You send warring angels to go before me and charlie to accomplish these blessings and create favor in my business affairs.

In the Name of Jesus Christ and through His living blood, I bind you satan, and your entire kingdom so that you cannot and will not be active in our communities, in any person or animal. I come against your strongholds over every place dealing in drugs, pornography, prostitution, bars and nude bars, places selling witchcraft paraphernalia,porn on the net, palm readers and any place worshipping a false god. Through the power of the Holy Spirit vested in me, I tear down and curse these businesses at the roots and command them to dry up and go away.

Lord, don’t let me be just a warrior in Your Kingdom, but let me be a mighty warrior and frontline soldier, so that when I see You face to face You will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant; come on in.” In the mighty name of Jesus I, pray Amen! Amen!





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Jesus Christ Sees All !!!

Jesus Christ Sees All !!!
Are You in His book Of Life & Death ?

Welcome Home To I_amgodschildcc Place

This is a very warm Welcome To each of You whom came unto this place, i_am godschild cc Home I am glad that you decided to join. I am sure you will find many blessings with us as I am sure you will be a blessing to our family. i_amgodschildcc Home is a Special Room for us to come to for PRAISE and WORSHIP to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, praying for each other, praying for all prayer requests that are shared with us, share testimonies, Bible studies, Christian devotionals, poems, songs and Christian inspirational sites. We are a group of believers dedicated to lifting in prayer the needs that are shared with us, sustain our brethen, Praise the Lord, spread the Wordof God and to reach out to lost and unsaved souls.OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE HAS NO PLACE IN THIS CHRIST CENTERED HOME!!! Because many people has grown up in hearing and /or using offensive language, this is very painful to ALL of us in this home it will NOT be tolerated at ALL!!! If someone post those types of Offensive lanuage you will be deleated Immediately DISMISSED otherwise Banned from this Home of the Lord Jesus Christ it will NOT be tolerated at ALL!!!! There is NO asking for Donations or Money of to Send Money of any kind in Advertising your work. If the Lord wants someone to send money to a person, He will place it upon the heart of someone to do so. It would be appreciated if All people whom come to this site that if You whom come to post here that You would refrain from Gossip or Critizing people here in this home of Jesus Christ for we do Not do any kind of disagreements, nor we Debate it anything in this Home at All!! It will Not, for the Lord say's in His Sword of His Own Word in this manner for all of Us to follow and adhere to: "You brood of snakes ! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. A good person produces good words from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart. And I tell You this, that YOU Must give an account on Judgement day of every idle word You speak The Words You say now reflects Your fate then; either You will be justified by them or You will be condemned...[Matt.12:34-36N.L.T.] Feel free to post on the message board as the Holy Spirit leads you. Please share your prayers and be in agreement with other prayers that are shared with us. Let's just lift Holy hands and Praise the Lord today!!

14 Oh, how generous and gracious our Lord was! He filled me with the faith and love that come from Christ Jesus.

15 This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. 16 But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. 17 All honor and glory to God forever and ever! He is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; he alone is God. Amen.

1 Timothy 1:14-17 (New Living Translation)

My Prayer for You in each one of you as an individual person and family and friends as well as aquaintances this journey we call life is for All of You!

10 Love each other with genuine affection,[a] and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.[b] 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Romans 12:10-13 (New Living Translation)



My Testimony

Hello Everyone; I thought that I would give this testimony of how things had taken place in my very own life. Some of things has been left out of it. Some of these things You could read between the Lines and to know it in your own heart just as if You had been there taking it all in as one would often time do in these simliar things hurts, habits, and all of those hang - ups as a next person that had gone through it as well themselves.I had often times felt that I had already gone onto as people often times say to whom ever living as if we had already have been in world world 3. I'm only saying this because of me growing as a very small baby I had a Foster Mother in whom I loved so very much for such as I was literally told by her momma from an infant that she wasn't my true Mother that I had a real mother with many siblings living with her and I'd had better get used to it in my life and as in some people very much they had done all the things that any ones own parent could do for them from infancy until almost an adolecent. From the time that I was an only child never did I realize what those truths were until my parents had told Me that I am a foster child that they loved so dearly but they didn't like the way that My real Mother was rasing me and she had kept Me to raised in her undivided "Love" beside being raised where she had loving manner with shown Me just where Her Accountability mattered in her home. Now in my "Real Mother's " home it was so much of a vast differences in her home, and having bad motives and none action that wasn't alot of "Inconsistencies" had gotton Me to where violence and wreckless parents within the family unit and couldn't be myself in that inviroment that for sure was very unstable for my own personal growth. I had thought that those was my parent until one day some cold hard fact and truths came creaping out of my momma. She was stern and I knew what she meant and what she said was gospel.But she loved me just the same for being my foster momma to me. I watched her go through so many trials and heartache in her life and she cried and had been hurt by a husband whom had left us to be with another woman and her already made family. My momma did all those things that a parent could and wanted to do as a mother. She worked and I went to school like any other young child. Of course I acted up badly when I had lived with my precious momma, but I was sort of a mean kid whom had done alot of things that I ought not and should not have done. But the one or perhaps many things about her just made me feel like it was always home to me even til the day she passed away. (Years earlier). She loved me and showed me how to do things in a home, like most momma's do she gave me spankings but it wasn't nothing like my real mother would do. They were so very different as day is to night. My thoughts just never left my momma. You know being with the very brutal side of my real parent will never be forgotton because in the home it was world war 3. It was horrible that at times It just speaks to all of those horable things that had happened to me while living in that place of such high frequencies of motives and in - actions that only a person like me had gone through in a persons own life, of the horrors that went in that place. I later in years found out the real reasons all of those mean actions of the way she was to me and ways she had done alot of things which makes a person like I was so bitterly confused, beaten, raped, and almost killed not only by my real mother but her husband too. I'll never forget what it done to my own soul is like living in hell with fire torching me all of the time, day and night was never a miss.Bu they cursed at me telling me that I was No good and I wasn't going to amount to anything and more cursing came at me like it rolled like a thunder storm in every breath they had taken and couldn't even ask why,I couldn't share my thoughts with them because sure enough I would get it again. They had their parties that lasted into the wee hours in the mornings every weekend with things in the home got broken simly because it would be broken up , fighting, cursing at each other, the windows of the car got broken by a brick being thrown from mother's hand because of those things he had done to her. I knew that I was in hot water again, just because she would run off from being mad at him. I hated those times because I knew what I was in for every time that would happen. Some of my own family member was just like him and did those simliar thing to me.Only 2 of my siblings made so many efforts for me to live with them but to No avil. Everytime I'd get something nice for those holidays it would get ripped into pieces while the other kids got to keep what they had. After a while I really didn't care about anything anymore! They taught me to be just like them and I lost myself ! I just didn't know me anymore.Her hubby used to call me out to his garage filled his brown "Dr. Peppers" glass with his favorite pop as I watched him pour his drink mixed with alcohol, i'm not going to say anything more about that horrible person in that kind of manner. A few of his own family members was just the same. Some of them as well did thing's in like manner for they are sibling that was older than I . I got so tired of those things and after awhile I was like being under a very heavy doeses of anesthesia that I never came out of from being in that place. Everything I had been taught was lost to never return in such a very ugly inside of myself had been ripped apart destroying anything of which I had known about me was gone and I ws No longer there! I left that place and right out in the streets and never looked back at that place again for many of years.I was someone like in Germany that has shared with me simliar virtures that had taken on in my own life from the very start of my street worth had been like in what my husband has shared with me about those brothels that's lined up for many a blocks. It's all I knew how to do and run with the seedy people whom was just like me and thugs,mobsters, thieves. I got caught up with people that most people didn't want to cross over if they wanted to stay alive for the most part, or if they owed a favor yet in turn it wasn't good either.Well drugs, alcohol, kept me up and down for most of those years. I had so many problems that it never gave me a clue. Emotions was high going from one place to another even with scooter people whom I'd hung out at all of those places. For the most part they helped me along my years, then I'd back away and find me another crowd to hang out with, it didn't matter how rich you might of been at the end of those nights I was a shallow of a person whom was there for a time at your expense. Oh, I've have had relationships and marriages even children came out of some. I never thought I'd stop in living like the way I was. It never entered my mind at all, nor would anyone would bring up in helping "self" to see something different in how to stop and detour my life.Oh at times I went back and had seen my momma and she always loved me just like it never ever stopped. I hid alot of things from her that never enterered in our conversations simply I didn't want her to know and thought that she would tell me to leave and never come back to her home again so I kept quiet about it at those times I had been visiting Mom,except to be a good girl.I had lost one child in what had happend in the way I lived my life and some of them from the x's and people whom had tons of money whom ruled the world with an iron fists and towns of which we lived. I couldn't fight it and I lost something that was so precious to me. It had me even tighter and I never knew what to do. But stick my thumb out and hit the trails onward I went back to the home town of which I was born and as it had taken a while while I had been on the road which was full of dangers into the next day . Some of the time that it was fun but today looking back it was the darkest days in my own life. All of those dark nights that was lit from 24 hours lasted more than hours but weeks at a time. I never never ever said that he ever was a person of a father figure to me but as a sperm donor for my mother[Real] is all he had been to me but my real mother life whom loved him and of course had more children between them. So that pretty much how it was back then for me. Until one night and being seperated once again, I had went to someones home and relaxed like I always did with people I knew very well. That night was just a peek of what terrible things that had taken place in my world. And this what some people likes to do to "young ladies or women"I was literally thrown into a car and they had taken me to an abandon house and beat the daylights out of me and raped me and tried to kill me that horrible night that lasted till early morning.For some reason I said a get me out of here prayers, I then saw something liked I'd never ever seen before in my entire life and I've never forgot it till this day. It was a figure liked I've never seen before but the funny part about it it was missing a face while it was there! Oh it white and hands like a real person has on one glossy set of hands and you could see right through it. And a golden crown . Now, that amazed me like never before! Then I saw this figure waving those hands to come this way but it stumped me because I didn't know where those men were in the house. I looked around to see where they were in that place. I wiped away the blood on my face so I could see some what better. As I looked again that person or thing was still waving at me to come unto them. I was frightened and didn't know what to expect! So I just got off that floor and headed out the window and that things or person that I had seen just felt like it guided me to where safety and as they led me then what I then seen was a huge drop to hit the ground. As I did my ankel twisted and I somehow got back straight and ran until I found some help in a apt. building and ran inside. I knocked on door and a another man came to the door and I at once covered myself up and passed out on the floor. Just as You already know where I woke up at and to see just the very fact I was ALIVE! I had lost the court case and to my suprise from what I had found out they did it again to someone much younger than me. That was 2 weeks later after the courts. I went into treatment and left that town simply because my hubby didn't like the fact that I been done by the other race. Man I was so bitterly angry at men so I had turn into a homosexual for a time and when I was in my stupor while drinking I had come to realize what the heck I was doing in a relationship with this woman and I went through tons of help back then and under a shrink for so many years, It was hard but I kept it up after it so I could do what was told to me so I could get better. I went through secular programs and I did so much better and even had a child come back to me, then another one which was a suprise. Even tried to always make things work and had all of those emotions sticking out so very badly. It got so bad that my old self came back to me and I literally stabbed someone . Oh, it finally hit me after one of my very heavy drunks that I really needed some help . I went cold turkey and got off those meds that nearly killed me during that time. Later I moved to another place and tried to do things a little differently. I had my scooter buddies that I had met but this time they we not like those in times past. They began to share me about a man called Jesus in which I had only heard about as a child and never believed! But they shared with me that whole weekend and I found a pastor in that town and began searching for more answers to all of my un - answered questions that they had helped me with in my life. They had a quaint little place which was half restaurant, and church. But I got saved in August 18, 1997. I had met someone and then married him as he had other people round him that I didn't know very well and he had this person move in with us and quite frankly really didn't want him there but between the two to my much suprise another person around whom had made drugs and was selling them I had found about when I saw neddles laying around in different places and I left at the pastors request and on my way out of town he nearly ran me over with his semi-truck in that pouring rain storm but than God and I made it to where I was going. I found my self heading to a hospital early the next morning at my best friends advice. She went to school and if I hadn't been home she knew where to come find me. As it turned out I had died and came back and I knew it was the Lord, My savior whom brought me back. There's more to this story that just blows my mind to this day simply because of that happeneing to me this very day. Oh, Yes I had to re-learn everything over again, just as if I was a very sm. child. I had some long talks with the Lord and cried many tears unto Him only to see for my self that those where trials from Him to see if I ment it or wanted to turn back to the old me.But I didn't thank You Jesus! I kept hanging on like i've never ever did in my life. Some of those people were not nice people at all, they was crude and very abnoxious in all those hateful words and cussing at me, walking all over me just as if I hadn't been standing still. But my precious Jesus and I kept praying and communicating with one another and I went to church and they helped me too. But the cold hard facts is Jesus Christ whom got me through it until this very day. I had sugery this year on memorial day weekend over the stuff that happened to me back then. But You know what ? He always told me that he would never ever forskake me.I know and truly believe it with all my heart today.He is still helping me to learn all the more about Him ... I'm so very thankful unto my precious Jesus for showing me His ways for me to live in and all my cares goes unto Him today.Every time I go though His fires of His many test. One more time he molding me more unto Him to be just as he in the likeness in doing my best in leaving more of me in this old very horrible nasty old world.I left my sins where it all needs to be in His glorious righteousness and it is where it absolutley stays for me and being in the one whom is the almighty God. Now I'm doing my best in Him in leaving old teaching of those religious people behind in still having our close relationship in Him together as I want it more and more in my life forever more til he takes us home to be in that new Jerusalem. I just don't like be a person in what God calls a "stiff necked person" which is incorruptable in front of him. I know that he's destroyed alot of the old me.I know that I still get mixed up at times but He's helping me through it all! Today I get tired so easily and have to rest when my body tells me too My mind often times acts like the "lost child". But that's ok because when I get up... I am with Jesus and helping others the best that I can, My husband and I have opened our home to people whom are in this world today. But after they get through asking questions about our faith, they stop right in those tracks and try to not do what they themselves need to do and try to much and be like the devil himself ! Then we share with each and every one that they need some help at first to get out of those damned up emotions, then try Jesus as they go through it all but they refuse all things and out the door they go. Then the next one apprears and it never has stopped here in our home. We keep sharing the word with them one after another.We too, live on a fixed income that don't help any at all except for the medical. food is very low here at our home, we go to the food pantries, and often times to one family member to have them give us a meal or two. But then we help people out in a church when I can help in sacking up food in bags, and clothing pantries as well. That's how our life is for us as we depend on our heavenly Father And He alway's takes care of us,He's shown us both different kinds of ways that only Him can do in taking care of us, we've seen how the Lord bring us money to pay these bills, and car, and food unto us and protects us through these storms that comes through out town. I can never say enough about our Jesus! At least not so much in words to Him Jesus Christ whom I love very deeply inside of myself and is my King, my Lover , whom rules and judges me when it comes to my own final curtain call for me to Bow down at His feet awaiting my own judgement just as everyone else in this earth it is where it's between he and I only. We truly trust Him[Jesus Christ & the Trinity] in every kind of conditions,situations, trials that comes our way in being in him.I'll lways grow as in time and seasons just like many of You but the potter's wheel as He is going forth in every side that brings up such strong reasons to produce all of my causes, issues,that comes before Himself to represents me in all of my ways as an intercessor for the release to come forth in His own "power & authority in taking me unto His own character daily in being in obedience unto Jesus Christ that continues to draw me until He comes for everyone at a moments notice. The idols are gone and all is left is JESUS today.That my sisters & brothers is the way it is here. I know I didn't mentioned alot of other things but in general You get the message, others that whom truly knows me daily know all of those missing parts of my life. i_a,godschild would like to Thank You for allow in this site,group sites, web sites and other prayer sites as well in holding one another up for prayer's being totally united in everyone around this world, it's about Jesus Christ first and prayers,intecessory prayer's and at other times about this vast world we live in today which this old world as we all know it is slowly departing to be reaching our home in glory and Not missing love ever again and may I alway's growing unto my precious Jesus Christ for He's my lawyer, judge unto this world ends. I will alway's praying and sharing with him in my own heart for everyone in my lif No matter where each of You are in this world that God has made as His people whom stands firm and true without a spot or a wringkle in heading to that one final place called: A New Jerusalem" The Prayer that I had used to bring me out of which I had been in for so very long in my own personal life and may it help anyone whom is out in this world that has come of those simliar things as I had done. Hello Everyone; I thought that I would give this testimony of how things had taken place in my very own life. Some of things has been left out of it. Some of these things You could read between the Lines and to know it in your own heart just as if You had been there taking it all in as one would often time do in these simliar things hurts, habits, and all of those hang - ups as a next person that had gone through it as well themselves.I had often times felt that I had already gone onto as people often times say to whom ever living as if we had already have been in world world 3. I'm only saying this because of me growing as a very small baby I had loved so very much for such as Iand as in some people very much they had done all the things that any ones own parent could do for them from infantcy until almost an adolecent. From the time that I was an only child never did I realize what those truths were until my parents had told Me that I am a foster child that they loved so dearly but they didn't like the way that My real Mother was rasing me and she had kept Me to raised in her undivided "Love" beside being raised where she had loving manner with shown Me just where Her Accountability mattered in her homeand not having bad motives and none action that wasn't been alot of "Inconsistencies" had gotton Me to where violence and wreckless parents within the family unit and couldn't be myself in that inviroment is unstable for your growth. I had thought that those was my parent until one day some cold hard fact and truths came creaping out of my momma. She was stern and i knew what she meant and what she said was gospel.But she loved me just the same for being a foster momma to me. I watched her go through so many trials and heartache in her life and she cried and had been hurt by a husband whom had left us to be with another woman and her already made family. My momma did all those things that a parent could and wanted to do as a mother. She worked and I went to school like any other young child. Of course I acted up badly when I had lived with my precious momma, but I was sort of a mean kid whom had done alot of things that I ought not and should not have done. But the one or perhaps many things about her just made me feel like it was always home to me even til the day she passed away. (Years later). She loved me and showed me how to do things in a home, like most momma's do she gave me spankings but it wasn't nothing like my real mother would do. They were so very different as day is to night. My thoughts just never left my momma. You know being with the very brutal side of my real parent will never be forgotton because in the home it was world war 3.It was horrible that at times I just speak of the horrors that went in that place.I later in years found out the real reasons all of those means and ways she had done alot of things which makes a person like I was so bitterly confused, beaten, raped, and almost killed not only by my real mother but her husband too. I'll never forget what it done to my own soul is like living in hell with fire torching me all of the time, day and night was never a miss.They had thier parties that lasted into the wee hours in the mornings every weekend I knew i was in hot water again, just because she would run off from being mad at him. I hated those times because I knew what I was in for every time that would happen.Some of my own family member was just like him and did those simliar thing to me.Only 2 of my siblings made so many efforts for me to live with them but to No avil.Everytime I'd get something nice for those holidays it would get ripped into pieces while the other kids got to keep what they had.After a while I really didn't care about anything anymore! They taught me to be just like them and I lost myself ! I just didn't know me anymore.Her hubby used to call me out to his garage filled with his favorite pop as I watched him pour his drink mixed with alcohol, i'm not going to say anything more about that horrible person in that kind of manner. A few of his own family members was just the same.Some of them as well did thing's in like manner for they are sibling that was older than I . I got so tired of those things and after awhile I was like being under a very heavy doeses of anesthesia that I never came out of from being in that place. Everything I had been taught was lost to never return in such a very ugly inside of myself had been ripped apart destroying anything of which I had known about me was gone and I No longer there! I left that place and right out in the streets and never looked back at that place again for many of years.I was someone like in Germanythat has shared with me simliar virtures that had taken on in my own life from the very start of my street worth had been likein what my husband has shared with me about those brothels that's lined up for many a blocks. It's all I knew how to do and run with the seedy people whom was just like me and thugs,mobsters. I got caught up with people that most people didn't want to cross over if they wanted to stay alive for the most part, or if they owed a favor yet in turn it wasn't good either.Well drugs, alcohol, kept me up and down for most of those years. I had so many problems that it never gave me a clue. Emotions was high going from one place to another even with scooter people whom hung out at all of those places. For the most part they helped me along my years, then I'd back away and find me another crowd to hang out with, it didn't matter how rich you might of been at the end of those nights I was a shallow of a person whom was there for a time at your expense. Oh, I've have had relationships and marriages even children came out of some. I never thought I'd stop in living like the way I was. It never entered my mind at all, nor would anyone would bring up in helping "self" to see something different in how to stop and detour my life.Oh at times I went back and had seen my momma and she always loved me just like it never ever stopped. I hid alot of things from her that never enterered in our conversations simply I didn't want her to know and thought that she would tell me to leave and never come back to her home again so I kept quiet about it at those times I had been visiting Mom,except to be a good girl.I had lost one child in what had happend in the way I lived my life and some of them from the x's and people whom had tons of money whom ruled the world with an iron fists and towns of which we lived. I couldn't fight it and I lost something that was so precious to me. It had me even tighter and I never knew what to do. But stick my thumb out and hit the trails onward I went back to the home town of which I was born and as it had taken a while while I had been on the road which was full of dangers into the next day . Some aof the time that it was fun but today looking back it was the darkes dayst in my own life. All of those dark nights that was lit from 24 hours lasted more than hours but weeks at a time. I never never ever said that he ever was a person of a father figure tp me but as a sperm donor is all he had been to me but my real mother life whom loved him and of course had more children between them. So that pretty much how it was back then for me. Until one night and being seperated once again, I had went to someone home and relaxed like I always did with people I knew very well. That night was just a peek of what terrible things that had taken place in my world. And this what some people likes to do to "young ladies or women"I was literally thrown into a car and they had taken me to an abandon house and beat the daylights out of me and raped me and tried to kill me that horrible night that lasted till early morning.For some reason I said a get me out of here prayers, I then saw something liked I'd never ever seen before in my entire life and I've never forgot it till this day. It was a figure liked I've never seen before but the funny part about it it was missing a face while it was there! Oh it white and hands like a real person has on one glossy set of hands and you could see right through it. And a golden crown . Now, that amazed me like never before! Then I saw this figure waving those hands to come this way but it stumped me because I didn't know where those men were in the house. I looked around to see where they were in that place. I wiped away the blood on my face so I could see some what better. As I looked again that person or thing was still waving at me to come unto them. I was frightened and didn't know what to expect! So I just got off that floor and headed out the window and that things or person that I had seen just felt like it guided me to where safety and as they led me then what I then seen was a huge drop to hit the ground. As I did my ankel twisted and I somehow got back straight and ran until I found some helpin a apt. building and ran inside. I knocked on door and a another man came to the door and I at once covered myself up and passed out on the floor. Just as You already know where I woke up at and to see just the very fact I was ALIVE! I had lost the court case and to my suprise from what I had found out they did it again to someone much younger than me. That was 2 weeks later after the courts. I went into treatment and left that town simply because my hubby didn't like the fact that I been done by the other race. I went through tons of help back then and under a shrink for so many years, It was hard but I kept after it so I could do what was told to me so I could get better. I went through secular programs and I did so much better and even had a child come back to me, then another one which was a suprise. Even tried to always make things work and had all of those emotions sticking out so very badly. It got so bad that my old self came back to me and I literally stabbed someone . Oh, it finally hit me after one of my very heavy drunks that I really needed some help . I went cold turkey and got off those meds that nearly killed me during that time. Later I moved to another place and tried to do things a little differently. I had my scooter buddies that I had met but this time they we not like those in times past. They began to share me about a man called Jesus in which I had only heard about as a child and never believed! But they shared with me that whole weekend and I found a pastor in that town and began searching for more. They had a quaint little place which was half resturant, and church. But I got saved that year of 1997. I had met someone and then married him as he had other people round him that I didn't know very well and he had this person move in with us and quite frankly really didn't want him there but between the two to my much suprise another person around whom had made drugs and was selling themI had found about when I saw Neddles laying around in different places and I left at the pastors request and on my way out of town he nearly ran me over with his semi-truck in that pouring rain storm but than God I made it to where I was going. I found my self heading to a hospital early the next morning at my best friends advice. She went to school and if I hadn't been home she knew where to come find me. As it turned out I had died and came back and I knew it was the Lord, My savior whom brought me back. There's more to this story that just blows my mind to this day simply because of that happeneing to me this very day. Oh, Yes I had to re-learn everything over again, just as if I was a very sm. child. I had some long talks with the Lord and cried many tears unto Him only to see for my self that those where trials from Him to see if I ment it or wanted to turn back to the old me.But I didn't thank You Jesus! I kept hanging on like i've never ever did in my life. Some of those people were not nice people at all, they was crude and very abnoxious in all those hateful words and cussing at me, walking all over me just as if I hadn't been standing still.But my precious Jesus and I kept praying and communicating with one another and I went to church and they helped me too. But the cold hard facts is Jesus Christ whom got me through it until this very day. I had sugery this year on memorial day weekend over the stuff that happened to me back then. But You know what ? He always told me that he would never ever forskake me.I know and truly believe it with all my heart today.He is still helping me to learn all the more about Him ... I'm so very thankful unto my precious Jesus for showing me His ways for me to live in and all my cares goes unto Him today.Every time I go though His fires of His many test. One more time he molding me more unto Him to be just as he in the likeness in doing my best in leaving more of me in this old very horrible nasty old world.I left my sins where it all needs to be in His glorious righteousness and it is where it absolutley stays for me and being in the one whom is the almighty God. Now I'm doing my best in Him in leaving old teaching of those religious people behind in still having our close relationship in Him together as I want it more and more in my life forever more til he takes us home to be in that new Jerusalem. I just don't like still be a person in what God calls a "stiff necked person" which is incorruptable in front of him. I know that he's destroyed alot of the old me.I know that I still get mixed up at times but He's helping me through it all! Today I get tired so easily and have to rest when my body tells me too My mind often times acts like the "lost child". But that's ok because when I get up... I am with Jesus and helping others the best that I can, My husband and I have opened our home to people whom are in this world today. But after they get through asking questions about our faith, they stop right in those tracks and try to not do what they themselves need to do and try to much and be like the devil himself ! Then we share with each and every one that they need some help at first to get out of those damned up emotions, then try Jesus as they go through it all but they refuse all things and out the door they go. Then the next one apprears and it never has stopped here in our home. We keep sharing the word with them one after another.We too, live on a fixed income that don't help any at all except for the medical. food is very low here at our home, we go to the food pantries, and often times to one family member to have them give us a meal or two. But then we help people out in a church when I can help in sacking up food in bags, and clothing pantries as well. That's how our life is for us as we depend on our heavenly Father And He alway's takes care of us,He's shown us both different kinds of way that only Him can do in taking care of us, we've seen how the Lord bring us money to pay these bills, and car, and food unto us and protects us through these storms that comes through out town. I can never say enough about our Jesus! At least not so much in words as it is in tounges is where it's between he and I only. We truly trust Him[Jesus Christ & the Trinity] in every kind of conditions,situations, trials that comes our way in being in him.I'll lways grow as in time and seasons just like many of You but the potter hs His wheel as He is going forth in every side that brings up such strong reasons to produce all of my causes, issues,that comes before Himself to represents me in all of my ways as an intercessor for the release to come forth in His own "power & authority in taking me unto His own character daily in being in obedience unto Jesus Christ that continues to draw me until He comes for everyone at a moments notice. The idols are gone and all is left is JESUS today.That my sisters & brothers is the way it is here. I know I didn't mentioned alot of other things but in general You get the message, others that know me daily know all of those missing parts of my life. i_a,godschild would like to Thank You for allow in this site,group sites, web sites and other prayer sites as well in holding one another up for prayer's being totally united in everyone around this world, it's about Jesus Christ first and prayers,intecessory prayer's and at other times about this vast world we live in today which this old world as we all know it is slowly departing to be reaching our home in glory and Not missing love ever again and may I alway's growing unto my precious Jesus Christ for He's my lawyer, judge unto this world ends. I will alway's praying and sharing with him in my own heart for everyone in my life No matter where each of You are in this world that God has made as His people whom stands firm and true without a spot or a wringkle in heading to that one final place called: A New Jerusalem" Prayer: Father, I loose any stronghold in my life protecting wrong feelings I have against anyone. Forgive me as I forgive those who have caused me pain, loss or grief. I loose any desire for retribution or to rectify. In the name of Jesus, I loose the power and effects of any harsh or hard words (word curses) spoken about me, to me or by me. I loose any strongholds connected with them. I loose all generational bondages and their stronghold from myself. I thank you Jesus that you have promised whatsoever I bind and loose on earth will be bound and loosed in heaven. In Jesus name, I loose the grave clothes from my soul. I loose any generational bondage from my soul. I loose any opposition and resistance from my soul and I loose any hidden agendas from my soul. I loose, shatter, and destroy the layer of self-control and self-defense, that I have allowed my soul to put down over my unmet needs, my unhealed hurts, and my unresolved issues. Father, some of them have been there for so long, and I have believed they would never be fixed. Forgive me, Father, for believing this, help me to work with You to loose layer after layer myself, so that these layers of vulnerability can be exposed to Your healing grace.I loose the grave clothes from my soul. I loose any generational bondage from my soul. I loose any opposition and resistance from my soul and I loose any hidden agendas from my soul. I loose, shatter, and destroy the layer of self-control and self-defense, that I have allowed my soul to put down over my unmet needs, my unhealed hurts, and my unresolved issues. Father, some of them have been there for so long, and I have believed they would never be fixed. Forgive me, Father, for believing this, help me to work with You to loose layer after layer myself, so that these layers of vulnerability can be exposed to Your healing grace. Thank You for reading this and may You be blessed alway's and forever. Amen. i_amgodschild. . Thank You for reading this and may You be blessed alway's and forever. Amen. i_amgodschild. .

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