Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Judgement In The Word Of God

God and His Only Begotton Son whom reigns on His Throne JESUS CHRIST and all throughtout His Sword is and has always spoke of His Judgings & Judgements that His wrath is coming upon His Eternal World!!!! He's Not the kinda Man whom plays around with anyone whom He's the 1st. orginally created from beginning of times from the time this World was formed and Mankind to the end of time of which this world will be ending for this world as we all know it whom lives and breaths upon this planet, So everyone needs to search and seek upon "Self" to see if there is anything that ought to be given unto Jesus Christ in one's own forgivness and allow Him to bring everyone closer to Him as His people and the world at large as a whole in relationship that brings such lasting and never ending life and staying close unto Him while yet there is still time. With so many occurrences that has come fourth just isn't somthing to be sneering at it, for this is true as many are some cold hard facts in warnings that has come upon "self" or to this world of what's coming unto us as we all live upon this earth it's a matter of what people truly believe in themselves that matters today and some of them have already choosen to continue on as it is with them. So, they have No kind of fear or reverence unto Jesus Christ at all just what the world is teaching them to do in today's world.All are caught up in the unbelief that God is not a God of Judgment! My God how far from the truth can anyone be???? Only God and His only Begotton Son will know Truths so when that time will be at that time and if those whom haven't been in His obedience, and whom is pure in likeness of Jesus Christ is what has been handed down by every single word of Him will be judged in that "Great White Throne" standing alone before Him is that ultimate facts right then and there and all of what they have or haven't done will be one's own fate living in everlasting life or punishment where there is continual torments forever. The choice relys on each person as a whole whom lives on God's Earth. NO ONE IS EXEMP AT THAT TIME AT ALL !!!!!

Judging Judgment:

juj’-ing, juj’-ment: Often in the Old Testament for "to act as a magistrate" (Ex 18:13; De 1:16; 16:18, etc.), justice being administered generally by "elders" (Ex 18:13-27), or "kings" (1Sa 8:20) or "priests" (De 18:15); applied to God as the Supreme Judge (Ps 9:7,8; 10:18; 96:13; Mic 4:3, etc.; Ps 7:8 "Yahweh ministereth judgment," vividly describes a court scene, with Yahweh as Judge).

Often in the New Testament, ethically, for

(1) "to decide," "give a verdict," "declare an opinion" (Greek krino);

(2) "to investigate," "scrutinize" (Greek anakrino);

(3) "to discriminate," "distinguish" (Greek diakrino).

For (1), see Lu 7:43; Ac 15:19;

for (2) see 1Co 2:15; 4:3;

for (3)see 1Co 11:31; 14:29 m.

Used also forensically in Lu 22:30; Ac 25:10; and applied to God in Joh 5:22; Heb 10:30. The judgments of God are the expression of His justice, the formal declarations of His judgments, whether embodied in words (De 5:1 the King James Version, the Revised Version (British and American) "statutes"), or deeds (Ex 6:6; Re 16:7), or in decisions that are yet to be published (Ps 36:6). Man’s consciousness of guilt inevitably associates God’s judgments as declarations of the Divine justice, with his own condemnation, i.e. he knows that a strict exercise of justice means his condemnation, and thus "judgment" and "condemnation" become in his mind synonymous (Ro 5:16); hence, the prayer of Ps 143:2, "Enter not into judgment"; also, Joh 6:29, "the resurrection of judgment" (the King James Version "damnation"); 1Co 11:29, "eateth and drinketh judgment" (the King James Version "damnation"). Looking in James 5:1-20 shares with us His enlightenments that seriously needs to be perserved in us as His for some of the things which has already been spoken about for all readers rather be christians or unbelievers of this world. Lay down all those treasures that are in this world and all form of " Self indulgence and above all Self-wills, greed,lusts,anger,gluttony,envy, and sloth which all breeds self-justification, ploys of sex in perverting people and in mis-using God and His Sword and a person God given instincts as a society as a whole then comes on demands or upon others No matter what form it brings on a person. That kind of a soul-sickness bring people to it's own death in so many ways to where is No more security and then society becomes an object that then becomes profaned unto them and a family unit or a church as a members being brought down in within itself.So, then people has so much pride that steps into the plateform of people's own excess that bring them down and it's never satisified with envious and covetness that goes on into being lazy within us as a human being that lacks being with the Lord.

Public troubles are most grievous to those who live in pleasure, and are secure and sensual, though all ranks suffer deeply at such times. All idolized treasures will soon perish, except as they will rise up in judgment against their possessors. Take heed of defrauding and oppressing; and avoid the very appearance of it. God does not forbid us to use lawful pleasures; but to live in pleasure, especially sinful pleasure, is a provoking sin. Is it no harm for people to unfit themselves

for minding the concerns of their souls, by indulging bodily appetites? The just may be condemned and killed; but when such suffer by oppressors, this is marked by God. Above all their other crimes, the Jews had condemned and crucified that Just One who had come among them, even Jesus Christ the righteous. (Jam 5:7-11)

The heart is that area of the human conscience that is the seat of our emotions, our thought processes, our values, and the place that we draw our method of operation (Matthew 12:34-35). Here is one of those greatest prayer of the Holy Bible for all of those whom wants to be restored back unto God in being with Him forever eternally in the New Heavens when He comes for those whom want him and desire Him to be their God in Jesus christ as the Judge whom sits upon that 'Great White Throne" that bring judgements on everyone in this world.
Great Prayers of the Bible: David's Prayer of Repentance
How is it that David is called a man after God's own heart? How is it that when God is talking to David's son, Solomon, he says; "Now if you walk before Me as your father David walked, in integrity of heart and in uprightness…then I will establish the throne of your kingdom over Israel forever as I promised David your father." (I Kings 9:4-5) Then again, when God was reprimanding King Jeroboam, he said; "…and yet you have not been as My servant David, who kept My commandments and who followed Me with all his heart; to do only what was right in My eyes." (I Kings 14:8)
David is the man who used his power to seduce a woman named Bathsheba while her husband was at war on King David's behalf. When she was found to be with his child, David arranged for her husband Uriah to be killed in battle to cover up the matter. David was an adulterer and a murderer. Is this a man after God's own heart?
God looks at the heart
Yes, God says that he is. When God was directing Samuel the prophet to anoint a new king over Israel after he had rejected Saul, he told Samuel; "For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (I Samuel 16:7) So despite his sin, God loved David's heart. I believe that we have a glimpse into that heart which God so treasured when we read Psalm 51, which is a prayer of repentance. That psalm is truly one of the great prayers of the Bible.
After David's sin, the Lord sent him Nathan the prophet to confront him. (See II Samuel 12). Instead of denial or excuses, David comes clean; "I have sinned against the Lord." (2 Samuel 12:13) But if that was all we were told about the incident we would have no idea about the depth of the repentance that David felt. Fortunately we have Psalm 51 which is a soul poured out before the Lord with great transparency and brokenness of spirit.
Psalm 51 is marked by true characteristics of repentance such as:
Appeal to the mercy of God
Honesty
Understanding of the severity of sinning against God
No excuses or justification
Desire to reform
Recognition that forgiveness is not deserved but by grace alone
In verse 2 David asks God to do three things. First he asks that his sin be blotted out which speaks of human records which can be erased. Then he asks to be washed thoroughly which compares forgiveness to the washing of clothes and clothes were often seen as an extension of the person. Finally he asks to be cleansed from his sin and this refers to liturgical ceremonial law. David wished to be separated from his sin in every way possible. He is not clinging to it with secret affection for it. No, he is rejecting his sin to the uttermost.
In his prayer, David acknowledges his sin "nature" and he holds out no hope that on his own he will be able to avoid sin in the future. He doesn't do this as an excuse, "Gee, I'm only human" but as an expression of his brokenness and his need for God's help and delivering power. David puts the burden of redemption on God: "purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." (verse 7) He is willing and desirous to submit to this deep cleansing of his innermost being.
Restoration
Beyond being forgiven and cleansed, David wants restoration. This is something we should all seek. He does not want to be stuck in the guilt of his sin as he moves into the future. David says; "Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit." (Verse 12) David wants to repent and be done with it. Knowing God has removed his sin from him, David wants to experience joy again.
This is a wonderful hallmark of forgiveness from the Lord. If we truly repent, he removes our sins from us as far as the east is from the west. (See Psalm 103:12) We are free to move forward as if the sin never existed at all. What joy and freedom!
That release from guilt is what makes David able to promise something back to the Lord. After the joy of God's salvation is restored, David says; "then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to You." (Verse 13) This is very interesting. How is it that this restoration of joy will enable David to communicate God's ways to sinners so that they will be converted?
Freedom to be honest about sin
Have you ever noticed that those who have truly repented and received complete forgiveness are usually open and forthright about their past sin? I have heard such men and woman stand up and publicly tell the stories of their lives as alcoholics, adulterers, thieves, drug traffickers and more. I have heard the remarkable testimony of David Berkowitz, the notorious "Son of Sam" serial killer who terrorized New York in the 1970s. The transforming power and grace of Jesus Christ touched his life and he tells his story without hesitation.
When people listen to stories of God's great grace they often feel that their own case is not hopeless and their own sin not unforgivable. They see joy on the face of the former sinner and they want that same joy. God is there to offer it.
As you read and re-read Psalm 51, what do you find you identify with the most? Is there a hidden sin that you need to repent of with the same heart David had? Do you find you haven't been completely honest with God? Are you willing to accept the deep cleansing David desired? Do you need to have the joy of God's salvation restored to you? Do you desire to have your testimony of God's grace touch the lives of others?
David's prayer of repentance in Psalm 51 is one of the great prayers of the Bible. After you read it, it isn't so hard anymore to understand why David was a man after God's own heart. You and I can hold that same title; we can be men and women after God's own heart. Repentance is the entryway. Come, enter in. He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.Ecclesiastes 3:11 Closing Thoughts: The WORLD is better translated "eternity". God has given unto All mankind was given unto them a desire for eternity and perpetuity,therefore man just cannot be truly be satitfied what is temporal. Man's quest for the eternal however, is deeply frustrated by his or hers finate limitations that surround them as a person God helps them to bring such better results if they choose Him as their God.

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Entering Into His Presence

Entering Into His Presence

by Gail Rodgers

They all voiced the same thing. Different women, different ages and different stages in life. The desire of their hearts echoed from their individual corners, “I want to go deeper with God.”

We hear it often these days in individuals and in churches. I began to ask, “What do you mean by the term “going deeper”?” One wanted to hear God’s voice more clearly and be guided in intercessory prayer. Another wanted to feel God close in every way and increase her intimacy with her Lord. Still another wanted more knowledge of the Bible and what God says about Himself and about us. Another wanted to bring people to a point of brokenness over sin, and see God work to replace apathy with desire.

Deep longings. Desperate hearts to know God. God’s Spirit is clearly moving to draw us to Himself in new ways. Some, as yet, do not recognize this desire as the drawing of the Spirit. Their hearts are unsatisfied. They are looking for more. Yet they look for new career direction, a new church to attend, a new romance or new ways to make money.

God put this longing in our hearts and He identifies it. In the midst of the book of Ecclesiastes He reveals the source of our longing. He says, “God has set eternity in the hearts of men” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). God has put a longing in our hearts for the things of eternal value. The futility and frantic running after things and possessions, titles and relationships eventually exhausts us. God’s Spirit is there to take us deeper into the things that matter…the things that have value for eternity.

Answering the call

How do we answer this call of eternity in our hearts? How do we move our own walk with God to a deeper level especially when depth looks different to different people?

I believe the answer lies in entering into God’s presence. Yet what does such a lofty sounding act really look like on a Monday morning or a Wednesday afternoon when the dust of life is gritty on our faces?

We know that without God’s presence a Bible study is simply a class offering knowledge, but not life. A prayer time is simply a recital of wants and desires. Without God’s presence to wash over our souls and bring refreshment, we find the dust of life just settles over our soul.

God calls us to His presence. It is there we find the refreshment our soul desires. It is there we find the depth we need. It is there we find our longing fulfilled.

We find the clues to this deeper level of knowing Him sprinkled throughout Scripture. Let your heart hear the call …

  • “Come before His presence with thanksgiving…” (Psalm 95:2)
  • “Come before His presence with singing…" (Psalm 100:2)
  • “Come to the throne of grace with confidence…” (Hebrews 4:16)

Feeding your soul

“How priceless is Your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of Your wings.They feast on the abundance of Your house; You give them drink from Your river of delights” (Psalm 36:7,8).

God knows the deep parts of our hearts. He knows we will be hungry and thirsty from the journey and He puts the desire in our hearts for something that will have true and lasting value.

Then He offers the answer to that longing…He offers us Himself and His presence. He even tells us the route to go in order to find our way there. He tells us to feast on His abundance.

Feasting on His abundance simply means responding to the greatness of God. It will bring thanksgiving and singing and a boldness to see God act in all His greatness.

Feasting on His abundance means looking beyond the hardship of the moment to the power and majesty of God. He meets us with His strength in the middle of the dust storm.

Feed your soul with the freshness of the knowledge that …

  • He is the wisdom you need. 1 Corinthians 1:24,25
  • He is faithful always. Deuteronomy 7:9
  • He is your strength. Isaiah 12:2
  • He is your restorer. Psalm 23:3
  • He is your resting place. Matthew 11: 28,29
  • He is your refuge from the storm. 2 Samuel 22:2,3
  • He is Almighty! 2 Corinthians 6:18

Ponder these things. Let the reality of who God is settle over your soul and wash off the dust of discouragement. Lay the truth of His character over your circumstances.

As you let your thoughts dwell on the greatness of God, thankfulness will begin to re-surface at the realization of His power and greatness. Boldness will come again as you remember you are invited to come to Him. Singing will result, sometimes even as your sacrifice, because your eyes of faith see the hope He brings to your heart.

Drink from this river and you will find new depth and deep satisfaction that will answer the longing of eternity that is in your heart.

Go deeper with God by entering into His presence. The longing of your heart will be satisfied there.

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Jesus Christ Sees All !!!

Jesus Christ Sees All !!!
Are You in His book Of Life & Death ?

Welcome Home To I_amgodschildcc Place

This is a very warm Welcome To each of You whom came unto this place, i_am godschild cc Home I am glad that you decided to join. I am sure you will find many blessings with us as I am sure you will be a blessing to our family. i_amgodschildcc Home is a Special Room for us to come to for PRAISE and WORSHIP to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, praying for each other, praying for all prayer requests that are shared with us, share testimonies, Bible studies, Christian devotionals, poems, songs and Christian inspirational sites. We are a group of believers dedicated to lifting in prayer the needs that are shared with us, sustain our brethen, Praise the Lord, spread the Wordof God and to reach out to lost and unsaved souls.OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE HAS NO PLACE IN THIS CHRIST CENTERED HOME!!! Because many people has grown up in hearing and /or using offensive language, this is very painful to ALL of us in this home it will NOT be tolerated at ALL!!! If someone post those types of Offensive lanuage you will be deleated Immediately DISMISSED otherwise Banned from this Home of the Lord Jesus Christ it will NOT be tolerated at ALL!!!! There is NO asking for Donations or Money of to Send Money of any kind in Advertising your work. If the Lord wants someone to send money to a person, He will place it upon the heart of someone to do so. It would be appreciated if All people whom come to this site that if You whom come to post here that You would refrain from Gossip or Critizing people here in this home of Jesus Christ for we do Not do any kind of disagreements, nor we Debate it anything in this Home at All!! It will Not, for the Lord say's in His Sword of His Own Word in this manner for all of Us to follow and adhere to: "You brood of snakes ! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. A good person produces good words from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart. And I tell You this, that YOU Must give an account on Judgement day of every idle word You speak The Words You say now reflects Your fate then; either You will be justified by them or You will be condemned...[Matt.12:34-36N.L.T.] Feel free to post on the message board as the Holy Spirit leads you. Please share your prayers and be in agreement with other prayers that are shared with us. Let's just lift Holy hands and Praise the Lord today!!

14 Oh, how generous and gracious our Lord was! He filled me with the faith and love that come from Christ Jesus.

15 This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. 16 But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. 17 All honor and glory to God forever and ever! He is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; he alone is God. Amen.

1 Timothy 1:14-17 (New Living Translation)

My Prayer for You in each one of you as an individual person and family and friends as well as aquaintances this journey we call life is for All of You!

10 Love each other with genuine affection,[a] and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.[b] 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Romans 12:10-13 (New Living Translation)



My Testimony

Hello Everyone; I thought that I would give this testimony of how things had taken place in my very own life. Some of things has been left out of it. Some of these things You could read between the Lines and to know it in your own heart just as if You had been there taking it all in as one would often time do in these simliar things hurts, habits, and all of those hang - ups as a next person that had gone through it as well themselves.I had often times felt that I had already gone onto as people often times say to whom ever living as if we had already have been in world world 3. I'm only saying this because of me growing as a very small baby I had a Foster Mother in whom I loved so very much for such as I was literally told by her momma from an infant that she wasn't my true Mother that I had a real mother with many siblings living with her and I'd had better get used to it in my life and as in some people very much they had done all the things that any ones own parent could do for them from infancy until almost an adolecent. From the time that I was an only child never did I realize what those truths were until my parents had told Me that I am a foster child that they loved so dearly but they didn't like the way that My real Mother was rasing me and she had kept Me to raised in her undivided "Love" beside being raised where she had loving manner with shown Me just where Her Accountability mattered in her home. Now in my "Real Mother's " home it was so much of a vast differences in her home, and having bad motives and none action that wasn't alot of "Inconsistencies" had gotton Me to where violence and wreckless parents within the family unit and couldn't be myself in that inviroment that for sure was very unstable for my own personal growth. I had thought that those was my parent until one day some cold hard fact and truths came creaping out of my momma. She was stern and I knew what she meant and what she said was gospel.But she loved me just the same for being my foster momma to me. I watched her go through so many trials and heartache in her life and she cried and had been hurt by a husband whom had left us to be with another woman and her already made family. My momma did all those things that a parent could and wanted to do as a mother. She worked and I went to school like any other young child. Of course I acted up badly when I had lived with my precious momma, but I was sort of a mean kid whom had done alot of things that I ought not and should not have done. But the one or perhaps many things about her just made me feel like it was always home to me even til the day she passed away. (Years earlier). She loved me and showed me how to do things in a home, like most momma's do she gave me spankings but it wasn't nothing like my real mother would do. They were so very different as day is to night. My thoughts just never left my momma. You know being with the very brutal side of my real parent will never be forgotton because in the home it was world war 3. It was horrible that at times It just speaks to all of those horable things that had happened to me while living in that place of such high frequencies of motives and in - actions that only a person like me had gone through in a persons own life, of the horrors that went in that place. I later in years found out the real reasons all of those mean actions of the way she was to me and ways she had done alot of things which makes a person like I was so bitterly confused, beaten, raped, and almost killed not only by my real mother but her husband too. I'll never forget what it done to my own soul is like living in hell with fire torching me all of the time, day and night was never a miss.Bu they cursed at me telling me that I was No good and I wasn't going to amount to anything and more cursing came at me like it rolled like a thunder storm in every breath they had taken and couldn't even ask why,I couldn't share my thoughts with them because sure enough I would get it again. They had their parties that lasted into the wee hours in the mornings every weekend with things in the home got broken simly because it would be broken up , fighting, cursing at each other, the windows of the car got broken by a brick being thrown from mother's hand because of those things he had done to her. I knew that I was in hot water again, just because she would run off from being mad at him. I hated those times because I knew what I was in for every time that would happen. Some of my own family member was just like him and did those simliar thing to me.Only 2 of my siblings made so many efforts for me to live with them but to No avil. Everytime I'd get something nice for those holidays it would get ripped into pieces while the other kids got to keep what they had. After a while I really didn't care about anything anymore! They taught me to be just like them and I lost myself ! I just didn't know me anymore.Her hubby used to call me out to his garage filled his brown "Dr. Peppers" glass with his favorite pop as I watched him pour his drink mixed with alcohol, i'm not going to say anything more about that horrible person in that kind of manner. A few of his own family members was just the same. Some of them as well did thing's in like manner for they are sibling that was older than I . I got so tired of those things and after awhile I was like being under a very heavy doeses of anesthesia that I never came out of from being in that place. Everything I had been taught was lost to never return in such a very ugly inside of myself had been ripped apart destroying anything of which I had known about me was gone and I ws No longer there! I left that place and right out in the streets and never looked back at that place again for many of years.I was someone like in Germany that has shared with me simliar virtures that had taken on in my own life from the very start of my street worth had been like in what my husband has shared with me about those brothels that's lined up for many a blocks. It's all I knew how to do and run with the seedy people whom was just like me and thugs,mobsters, thieves. I got caught up with people that most people didn't want to cross over if they wanted to stay alive for the most part, or if they owed a favor yet in turn it wasn't good either.Well drugs, alcohol, kept me up and down for most of those years. I had so many problems that it never gave me a clue. Emotions was high going from one place to another even with scooter people whom I'd hung out at all of those places. For the most part they helped me along my years, then I'd back away and find me another crowd to hang out with, it didn't matter how rich you might of been at the end of those nights I was a shallow of a person whom was there for a time at your expense. Oh, I've have had relationships and marriages even children came out of some. I never thought I'd stop in living like the way I was. It never entered my mind at all, nor would anyone would bring up in helping "self" to see something different in how to stop and detour my life.Oh at times I went back and had seen my momma and she always loved me just like it never ever stopped. I hid alot of things from her that never enterered in our conversations simply I didn't want her to know and thought that she would tell me to leave and never come back to her home again so I kept quiet about it at those times I had been visiting Mom,except to be a good girl.I had lost one child in what had happend in the way I lived my life and some of them from the x's and people whom had tons of money whom ruled the world with an iron fists and towns of which we lived. I couldn't fight it and I lost something that was so precious to me. It had me even tighter and I never knew what to do. But stick my thumb out and hit the trails onward I went back to the home town of which I was born and as it had taken a while while I had been on the road which was full of dangers into the next day . Some of the time that it was fun but today looking back it was the darkest days in my own life. All of those dark nights that was lit from 24 hours lasted more than hours but weeks at a time. I never never ever said that he ever was a person of a father figure to me but as a sperm donor for my mother[Real] is all he had been to me but my real mother life whom loved him and of course had more children between them. So that pretty much how it was back then for me. Until one night and being seperated once again, I had went to someones home and relaxed like I always did with people I knew very well. That night was just a peek of what terrible things that had taken place in my world. And this what some people likes to do to "young ladies or women"I was literally thrown into a car and they had taken me to an abandon house and beat the daylights out of me and raped me and tried to kill me that horrible night that lasted till early morning.For some reason I said a get me out of here prayers, I then saw something liked I'd never ever seen before in my entire life and I've never forgot it till this day. It was a figure liked I've never seen before but the funny part about it it was missing a face while it was there! Oh it white and hands like a real person has on one glossy set of hands and you could see right through it. And a golden crown . Now, that amazed me like never before! Then I saw this figure waving those hands to come this way but it stumped me because I didn't know where those men were in the house. I looked around to see where they were in that place. I wiped away the blood on my face so I could see some what better. As I looked again that person or thing was still waving at me to come unto them. I was frightened and didn't know what to expect! So I just got off that floor and headed out the window and that things or person that I had seen just felt like it guided me to where safety and as they led me then what I then seen was a huge drop to hit the ground. As I did my ankel twisted and I somehow got back straight and ran until I found some help in a apt. building and ran inside. I knocked on door and a another man came to the door and I at once covered myself up and passed out on the floor. Just as You already know where I woke up at and to see just the very fact I was ALIVE! I had lost the court case and to my suprise from what I had found out they did it again to someone much younger than me. That was 2 weeks later after the courts. I went into treatment and left that town simply because my hubby didn't like the fact that I been done by the other race. Man I was so bitterly angry at men so I had turn into a homosexual for a time and when I was in my stupor while drinking I had come to realize what the heck I was doing in a relationship with this woman and I went through tons of help back then and under a shrink for so many years, It was hard but I kept it up after it so I could do what was told to me so I could get better. I went through secular programs and I did so much better and even had a child come back to me, then another one which was a suprise. Even tried to always make things work and had all of those emotions sticking out so very badly. It got so bad that my old self came back to me and I literally stabbed someone . Oh, it finally hit me after one of my very heavy drunks that I really needed some help . I went cold turkey and got off those meds that nearly killed me during that time. Later I moved to another place and tried to do things a little differently. I had my scooter buddies that I had met but this time they we not like those in times past. They began to share me about a man called Jesus in which I had only heard about as a child and never believed! But they shared with me that whole weekend and I found a pastor in that town and began searching for more answers to all of my un - answered questions that they had helped me with in my life. They had a quaint little place which was half restaurant, and church. But I got saved in August 18, 1997. I had met someone and then married him as he had other people round him that I didn't know very well and he had this person move in with us and quite frankly really didn't want him there but between the two to my much suprise another person around whom had made drugs and was selling them I had found about when I saw neddles laying around in different places and I left at the pastors request and on my way out of town he nearly ran me over with his semi-truck in that pouring rain storm but than God and I made it to where I was going. I found my self heading to a hospital early the next morning at my best friends advice. She went to school and if I hadn't been home she knew where to come find me. As it turned out I had died and came back and I knew it was the Lord, My savior whom brought me back. There's more to this story that just blows my mind to this day simply because of that happeneing to me this very day. Oh, Yes I had to re-learn everything over again, just as if I was a very sm. child. I had some long talks with the Lord and cried many tears unto Him only to see for my self that those where trials from Him to see if I ment it or wanted to turn back to the old me.But I didn't thank You Jesus! I kept hanging on like i've never ever did in my life. Some of those people were not nice people at all, they was crude and very abnoxious in all those hateful words and cussing at me, walking all over me just as if I hadn't been standing still. But my precious Jesus and I kept praying and communicating with one another and I went to church and they helped me too. But the cold hard facts is Jesus Christ whom got me through it until this very day. I had sugery this year on memorial day weekend over the stuff that happened to me back then. But You know what ? He always told me that he would never ever forskake me.I know and truly believe it with all my heart today.He is still helping me to learn all the more about Him ... I'm so very thankful unto my precious Jesus for showing me His ways for me to live in and all my cares goes unto Him today.Every time I go though His fires of His many test. One more time he molding me more unto Him to be just as he in the likeness in doing my best in leaving more of me in this old very horrible nasty old world.I left my sins where it all needs to be in His glorious righteousness and it is where it absolutley stays for me and being in the one whom is the almighty God. Now I'm doing my best in Him in leaving old teaching of those religious people behind in still having our close relationship in Him together as I want it more and more in my life forever more til he takes us home to be in that new Jerusalem. I just don't like be a person in what God calls a "stiff necked person" which is incorruptable in front of him. I know that he's destroyed alot of the old me.I know that I still get mixed up at times but He's helping me through it all! Today I get tired so easily and have to rest when my body tells me too My mind often times acts like the "lost child". But that's ok because when I get up... I am with Jesus and helping others the best that I can, My husband and I have opened our home to people whom are in this world today. But after they get through asking questions about our faith, they stop right in those tracks and try to not do what they themselves need to do and try to much and be like the devil himself ! Then we share with each and every one that they need some help at first to get out of those damned up emotions, then try Jesus as they go through it all but they refuse all things and out the door they go. Then the next one apprears and it never has stopped here in our home. We keep sharing the word with them one after another.We too, live on a fixed income that don't help any at all except for the medical. food is very low here at our home, we go to the food pantries, and often times to one family member to have them give us a meal or two. But then we help people out in a church when I can help in sacking up food in bags, and clothing pantries as well. That's how our life is for us as we depend on our heavenly Father And He alway's takes care of us,He's shown us both different kinds of ways that only Him can do in taking care of us, we've seen how the Lord bring us money to pay these bills, and car, and food unto us and protects us through these storms that comes through out town. I can never say enough about our Jesus! At least not so much in words to Him Jesus Christ whom I love very deeply inside of myself and is my King, my Lover , whom rules and judges me when it comes to my own final curtain call for me to Bow down at His feet awaiting my own judgement just as everyone else in this earth it is where it's between he and I only. We truly trust Him[Jesus Christ & the Trinity] in every kind of conditions,situations, trials that comes our way in being in him.I'll lways grow as in time and seasons just like many of You but the potter's wheel as He is going forth in every side that brings up such strong reasons to produce all of my causes, issues,that comes before Himself to represents me in all of my ways as an intercessor for the release to come forth in His own "power & authority in taking me unto His own character daily in being in obedience unto Jesus Christ that continues to draw me until He comes for everyone at a moments notice. The idols are gone and all is left is JESUS today.That my sisters & brothers is the way it is here. I know I didn't mentioned alot of other things but in general You get the message, others that whom truly knows me daily know all of those missing parts of my life. i_a,godschild would like to Thank You for allow in this site,group sites, web sites and other prayer sites as well in holding one another up for prayer's being totally united in everyone around this world, it's about Jesus Christ first and prayers,intecessory prayer's and at other times about this vast world we live in today which this old world as we all know it is slowly departing to be reaching our home in glory and Not missing love ever again and may I alway's growing unto my precious Jesus Christ for He's my lawyer, judge unto this world ends. I will alway's praying and sharing with him in my own heart for everyone in my lif No matter where each of You are in this world that God has made as His people whom stands firm and true without a spot or a wringkle in heading to that one final place called: A New Jerusalem" The Prayer that I had used to bring me out of which I had been in for so very long in my own personal life and may it help anyone whom is out in this world that has come of those simliar things as I had done. Hello Everyone; I thought that I would give this testimony of how things had taken place in my very own life. Some of things has been left out of it. Some of these things You could read between the Lines and to know it in your own heart just as if You had been there taking it all in as one would often time do in these simliar things hurts, habits, and all of those hang - ups as a next person that had gone through it as well themselves.I had often times felt that I had already gone onto as people often times say to whom ever living as if we had already have been in world world 3. I'm only saying this because of me growing as a very small baby I had loved so very much for such as Iand as in some people very much they had done all the things that any ones own parent could do for them from infantcy until almost an adolecent. From the time that I was an only child never did I realize what those truths were until my parents had told Me that I am a foster child that they loved so dearly but they didn't like the way that My real Mother was rasing me and she had kept Me to raised in her undivided "Love" beside being raised where she had loving manner with shown Me just where Her Accountability mattered in her homeand not having bad motives and none action that wasn't been alot of "Inconsistencies" had gotton Me to where violence and wreckless parents within the family unit and couldn't be myself in that inviroment is unstable for your growth. I had thought that those was my parent until one day some cold hard fact and truths came creaping out of my momma. She was stern and i knew what she meant and what she said was gospel.But she loved me just the same for being a foster momma to me. I watched her go through so many trials and heartache in her life and she cried and had been hurt by a husband whom had left us to be with another woman and her already made family. My momma did all those things that a parent could and wanted to do as a mother. She worked and I went to school like any other young child. Of course I acted up badly when I had lived with my precious momma, but I was sort of a mean kid whom had done alot of things that I ought not and should not have done. But the one or perhaps many things about her just made me feel like it was always home to me even til the day she passed away. (Years later). She loved me and showed me how to do things in a home, like most momma's do she gave me spankings but it wasn't nothing like my real mother would do. They were so very different as day is to night. My thoughts just never left my momma. You know being with the very brutal side of my real parent will never be forgotton because in the home it was world war 3.It was horrible that at times I just speak of the horrors that went in that place.I later in years found out the real reasons all of those means and ways she had done alot of things which makes a person like I was so bitterly confused, beaten, raped, and almost killed not only by my real mother but her husband too. I'll never forget what it done to my own soul is like living in hell with fire torching me all of the time, day and night was never a miss.They had thier parties that lasted into the wee hours in the mornings every weekend I knew i was in hot water again, just because she would run off from being mad at him. I hated those times because I knew what I was in for every time that would happen.Some of my own family member was just like him and did those simliar thing to me.Only 2 of my siblings made so many efforts for me to live with them but to No avil.Everytime I'd get something nice for those holidays it would get ripped into pieces while the other kids got to keep what they had.After a while I really didn't care about anything anymore! They taught me to be just like them and I lost myself ! I just didn't know me anymore.Her hubby used to call me out to his garage filled with his favorite pop as I watched him pour his drink mixed with alcohol, i'm not going to say anything more about that horrible person in that kind of manner. A few of his own family members was just the same.Some of them as well did thing's in like manner for they are sibling that was older than I . I got so tired of those things and after awhile I was like being under a very heavy doeses of anesthesia that I never came out of from being in that place. Everything I had been taught was lost to never return in such a very ugly inside of myself had been ripped apart destroying anything of which I had known about me was gone and I No longer there! I left that place and right out in the streets and never looked back at that place again for many of years.I was someone like in Germanythat has shared with me simliar virtures that had taken on in my own life from the very start of my street worth had been likein what my husband has shared with me about those brothels that's lined up for many a blocks. It's all I knew how to do and run with the seedy people whom was just like me and thugs,mobsters. I got caught up with people that most people didn't want to cross over if they wanted to stay alive for the most part, or if they owed a favor yet in turn it wasn't good either.Well drugs, alcohol, kept me up and down for most of those years. I had so many problems that it never gave me a clue. Emotions was high going from one place to another even with scooter people whom hung out at all of those places. For the most part they helped me along my years, then I'd back away and find me another crowd to hang out with, it didn't matter how rich you might of been at the end of those nights I was a shallow of a person whom was there for a time at your expense. Oh, I've have had relationships and marriages even children came out of some. I never thought I'd stop in living like the way I was. It never entered my mind at all, nor would anyone would bring up in helping "self" to see something different in how to stop and detour my life.Oh at times I went back and had seen my momma and she always loved me just like it never ever stopped. I hid alot of things from her that never enterered in our conversations simply I didn't want her to know and thought that she would tell me to leave and never come back to her home again so I kept quiet about it at those times I had been visiting Mom,except to be a good girl.I had lost one child in what had happend in the way I lived my life and some of them from the x's and people whom had tons of money whom ruled the world with an iron fists and towns of which we lived. I couldn't fight it and I lost something that was so precious to me. It had me even tighter and I never knew what to do. But stick my thumb out and hit the trails onward I went back to the home town of which I was born and as it had taken a while while I had been on the road which was full of dangers into the next day . Some aof the time that it was fun but today looking back it was the darkes dayst in my own life. All of those dark nights that was lit from 24 hours lasted more than hours but weeks at a time. I never never ever said that he ever was a person of a father figure tp me but as a sperm donor is all he had been to me but my real mother life whom loved him and of course had more children between them. So that pretty much how it was back then for me. Until one night and being seperated once again, I had went to someone home and relaxed like I always did with people I knew very well. That night was just a peek of what terrible things that had taken place in my world. And this what some people likes to do to "young ladies or women"I was literally thrown into a car and they had taken me to an abandon house and beat the daylights out of me and raped me and tried to kill me that horrible night that lasted till early morning.For some reason I said a get me out of here prayers, I then saw something liked I'd never ever seen before in my entire life and I've never forgot it till this day. It was a figure liked I've never seen before but the funny part about it it was missing a face while it was there! Oh it white and hands like a real person has on one glossy set of hands and you could see right through it. And a golden crown . Now, that amazed me like never before! Then I saw this figure waving those hands to come this way but it stumped me because I didn't know where those men were in the house. I looked around to see where they were in that place. I wiped away the blood on my face so I could see some what better. As I looked again that person or thing was still waving at me to come unto them. I was frightened and didn't know what to expect! So I just got off that floor and headed out the window and that things or person that I had seen just felt like it guided me to where safety and as they led me then what I then seen was a huge drop to hit the ground. As I did my ankel twisted and I somehow got back straight and ran until I found some helpin a apt. building and ran inside. I knocked on door and a another man came to the door and I at once covered myself up and passed out on the floor. Just as You already know where I woke up at and to see just the very fact I was ALIVE! I had lost the court case and to my suprise from what I had found out they did it again to someone much younger than me. That was 2 weeks later after the courts. I went into treatment and left that town simply because my hubby didn't like the fact that I been done by the other race. I went through tons of help back then and under a shrink for so many years, It was hard but I kept after it so I could do what was told to me so I could get better. I went through secular programs and I did so much better and even had a child come back to me, then another one which was a suprise. Even tried to always make things work and had all of those emotions sticking out so very badly. It got so bad that my old self came back to me and I literally stabbed someone . Oh, it finally hit me after one of my very heavy drunks that I really needed some help . I went cold turkey and got off those meds that nearly killed me during that time. Later I moved to another place and tried to do things a little differently. I had my scooter buddies that I had met but this time they we not like those in times past. They began to share me about a man called Jesus in which I had only heard about as a child and never believed! But they shared with me that whole weekend and I found a pastor in that town and began searching for more. They had a quaint little place which was half resturant, and church. But I got saved that year of 1997. I had met someone and then married him as he had other people round him that I didn't know very well and he had this person move in with us and quite frankly really didn't want him there but between the two to my much suprise another person around whom had made drugs and was selling themI had found about when I saw Neddles laying around in different places and I left at the pastors request and on my way out of town he nearly ran me over with his semi-truck in that pouring rain storm but than God I made it to where I was going. I found my self heading to a hospital early the next morning at my best friends advice. She went to school and if I hadn't been home she knew where to come find me. As it turned out I had died and came back and I knew it was the Lord, My savior whom brought me back. There's more to this story that just blows my mind to this day simply because of that happeneing to me this very day. Oh, Yes I had to re-learn everything over again, just as if I was a very sm. child. I had some long talks with the Lord and cried many tears unto Him only to see for my self that those where trials from Him to see if I ment it or wanted to turn back to the old me.But I didn't thank You Jesus! I kept hanging on like i've never ever did in my life. Some of those people were not nice people at all, they was crude and very abnoxious in all those hateful words and cussing at me, walking all over me just as if I hadn't been standing still.But my precious Jesus and I kept praying and communicating with one another and I went to church and they helped me too. But the cold hard facts is Jesus Christ whom got me through it until this very day. I had sugery this year on memorial day weekend over the stuff that happened to me back then. But You know what ? He always told me that he would never ever forskake me.I know and truly believe it with all my heart today.He is still helping me to learn all the more about Him ... I'm so very thankful unto my precious Jesus for showing me His ways for me to live in and all my cares goes unto Him today.Every time I go though His fires of His many test. One more time he molding me more unto Him to be just as he in the likeness in doing my best in leaving more of me in this old very horrible nasty old world.I left my sins where it all needs to be in His glorious righteousness and it is where it absolutley stays for me and being in the one whom is the almighty God. Now I'm doing my best in Him in leaving old teaching of those religious people behind in still having our close relationship in Him together as I want it more and more in my life forever more til he takes us home to be in that new Jerusalem. I just don't like still be a person in what God calls a "stiff necked person" which is incorruptable in front of him. I know that he's destroyed alot of the old me.I know that I still get mixed up at times but He's helping me through it all! Today I get tired so easily and have to rest when my body tells me too My mind often times acts like the "lost child". But that's ok because when I get up... I am with Jesus and helping others the best that I can, My husband and I have opened our home to people whom are in this world today. But after they get through asking questions about our faith, they stop right in those tracks and try to not do what they themselves need to do and try to much and be like the devil himself ! Then we share with each and every one that they need some help at first to get out of those damned up emotions, then try Jesus as they go through it all but they refuse all things and out the door they go. Then the next one apprears and it never has stopped here in our home. We keep sharing the word with them one after another.We too, live on a fixed income that don't help any at all except for the medical. food is very low here at our home, we go to the food pantries, and often times to one family member to have them give us a meal or two. But then we help people out in a church when I can help in sacking up food in bags, and clothing pantries as well. That's how our life is for us as we depend on our heavenly Father And He alway's takes care of us,He's shown us both different kinds of way that only Him can do in taking care of us, we've seen how the Lord bring us money to pay these bills, and car, and food unto us and protects us through these storms that comes through out town. I can never say enough about our Jesus! At least not so much in words as it is in tounges is where it's between he and I only. We truly trust Him[Jesus Christ & the Trinity] in every kind of conditions,situations, trials that comes our way in being in him.I'll lways grow as in time and seasons just like many of You but the potter hs His wheel as He is going forth in every side that brings up such strong reasons to produce all of my causes, issues,that comes before Himself to represents me in all of my ways as an intercessor for the release to come forth in His own "power & authority in taking me unto His own character daily in being in obedience unto Jesus Christ that continues to draw me until He comes for everyone at a moments notice. The idols are gone and all is left is JESUS today.That my sisters & brothers is the way it is here. I know I didn't mentioned alot of other things but in general You get the message, others that know me daily know all of those missing parts of my life. i_a,godschild would like to Thank You for allow in this site,group sites, web sites and other prayer sites as well in holding one another up for prayer's being totally united in everyone around this world, it's about Jesus Christ first and prayers,intecessory prayer's and at other times about this vast world we live in today which this old world as we all know it is slowly departing to be reaching our home in glory and Not missing love ever again and may I alway's growing unto my precious Jesus Christ for He's my lawyer, judge unto this world ends. I will alway's praying and sharing with him in my own heart for everyone in my life No matter where each of You are in this world that God has made as His people whom stands firm and true without a spot or a wringkle in heading to that one final place called: A New Jerusalem" Prayer: Father, I loose any stronghold in my life protecting wrong feelings I have against anyone. Forgive me as I forgive those who have caused me pain, loss or grief. I loose any desire for retribution or to rectify. In the name of Jesus, I loose the power and effects of any harsh or hard words (word curses) spoken about me, to me or by me. I loose any strongholds connected with them. I loose all generational bondages and their stronghold from myself. I thank you Jesus that you have promised whatsoever I bind and loose on earth will be bound and loosed in heaven. In Jesus name, I loose the grave clothes from my soul. I loose any generational bondage from my soul. I loose any opposition and resistance from my soul and I loose any hidden agendas from my soul. I loose, shatter, and destroy the layer of self-control and self-defense, that I have allowed my soul to put down over my unmet needs, my unhealed hurts, and my unresolved issues. Father, some of them have been there for so long, and I have believed they would never be fixed. Forgive me, Father, for believing this, help me to work with You to loose layer after layer myself, so that these layers of vulnerability can be exposed to Your healing grace.I loose the grave clothes from my soul. I loose any generational bondage from my soul. I loose any opposition and resistance from my soul and I loose any hidden agendas from my soul. I loose, shatter, and destroy the layer of self-control and self-defense, that I have allowed my soul to put down over my unmet needs, my unhealed hurts, and my unresolved issues. Father, some of them have been there for so long, and I have believed they would never be fixed. Forgive me, Father, for believing this, help me to work with You to loose layer after layer myself, so that these layers of vulnerability can be exposed to Your healing grace. Thank You for reading this and may You be blessed alway's and forever. Amen. i_amgodschild. . Thank You for reading this and may You be blessed alway's and forever. Amen. i_amgodschild. .

How Are You Dealing with Cancer with some one in your life?